Wayward
by LouBlue
Summary: EJami fic. Sami has shot EJ. To keep her secret Sami has moved back into the mansion as the loving wife the amnesiac EJ believes her to be... or does he? A fic for anyone looking for an explanation of how Sami could have done what she did & how to fix it.
1. Chapter 1

**AUTHOR'S NOTE****: **Okay so I'm posting this fic of mine that I've been posting over at "Forbidden Love", the brilliant EJami fan board because what began as a simple idea has snowballed into something else altogether. Obviously on an EJami fan board we are all EJami fans and obviously with there is a lot of disappointment with the latest Sami shooting EJ story line – more disappointment than usual. The writer's do love to stick it to us. This go round though they've done some huge damage to what I believe is the fundamental characteristics of Sami. There is a lot of anger towards the writing of her at the moment that goes far beyond her jumping on what's his name every chance she gets. No, they've torn away at the core of Sami Brady with this story line and as EJami fans who need Sami to be Sami for our love story to work that has created a lot of resentment towards the story line and writers.

Now I've told you all that guff simply to give you an idea where this fic is coming from. I think I was unconsciously trying to redress the balance between EJ and Sami as she plays EJ's poor little justified victim when she was the one who plugged the unconscious EJ with a bullet to the brain. What started as giving us what we felt we needed in the beginning began to change as people became more involved in the fic. In the course of the last four days I've written this and it has ultimately become about Sami's remorse and redemption and what it would need to be like for us to forgive her.

I've written it solely from Sami's POV so far. We all know how EJ feels – it's Sami who has always been the wild card. But as I wrote, again, it became more than that. EJ didn't need a voice in this fic because I found out we, the EJami fans were EJ in this story – the ones betrayed and let down by Sami, the Sami who never lets us have a chance at our couple. We knew how EJ felt because we were EJ. It was Sami who had the 'splainin' to do. Lol

Now if you're just a casual EJami fan you'll read all of that and go whatever – sounds a bit over the top. If you're someone who really loves the thought of this couple and want so badly for them to get together and just feel bitterness and resentment how you and your couple have been treated by the writers than this might well be the fic for you. Lol

Alright, enough jibber jabber, just read and make up your own minds eh? Comments always appreciated but not expected of course. :D

**Wayward**

**Chapter ONE**

"It's good to be home," EJ announced, looking around his bedroom and smiling, "I don't think I could have stayed in that hospital another minute without losing my mind."

Sami gave a weak smile and shifted her weight from one foot to the other uncomfortably. It was hard for her to be back here, so near to the scene of the crime – the scene of her crime.

"I'll go and check on the children and let you get settled in," she said quickly, anxious to be out of this bedroom which suddenly seemed too small when EJ was standing there with her.

"Alright sweetheart," he said with an easy smile.

Sami hurried from the room unable to believe the mess she'd gotten herself into this time. Here she was, back at the DiMera mansion, posing as EJ's wife all to keep her secret safe. In so many ways it would have been easier if EJ had just died that night and Sami would have been free of him at long last, or at least that was what she told herself. But the DiMera that he was EJ hadn't died and now she just had to deal with it. Rafe was furious with her that she'd let the charade go so far as now being forced to have to move back in with EJ pretending to be his wife so that he wouldn't become upset. Only Sami knew though there was more at stake then EJ's good health but she couldn't tell Rafe that and so there was considerable tension between them.

"I'm looking forward to waking up beside you tomorrow morning," EJ told her just before she left the room.

Sami turned in the doorway and stared at him wide eyed.

"Wh-what?" she asked shakily, her heart beginning to beat wildly.

Sami swallowed hard before answering.

"I-I thought you'd want the bed to yourself," said Sami unevenly, "You've just gotten out of the hospital and all and I was just going to sleep down the hall, closer to the children."

"Don't be ridiculous Samantha," said EJ with an indulgent smile, "Nothing is going to speed my recovery more than being able to share my bed with my gorgeous new wife."

Sami gave a pale imitation of a smile at that statement but couldn't think how to talk her way out of it.

[center]**oooOOOOooo**[/center]

Sami gave a happy sigh in her sleep, her body feeling strangely good and alive – a slow throbbing sensation in her lower body penetrating even the fog of her sleep soaked consciousness. She wasn't sure how long the sensations went on for but eventually she forced her eyes open coming ever so slowly awake. A dark head was at her breast, the hair closely cropped so Sami knew instantly who it was, no dream like state allowed to linger as the reality of what was happening to her body and by whom instantly hit her. EJ was completely naked, she could feel that much as his body was lined up along hers – naked and as hard as a rock – everywhere.

EJ had one of her nipples in his mouth, teasing and suckling at it mercilessly, his skilled mouth working this erogenous zone on Sami's body, her tank top pushed up. One of EJ's hands was between Sami's legs and working on her from deep inside and Sami made two equally amazing observations at the exact same moment. One was that EJ had somehow managed to remove the little boy leg pants Sami had worn to bed the night before and two, he'd gotten her so wet while she'd slept that it was dripping down her thighs and soaking the bed sheets beneath her. Sami flushed at that realisation, embarrassed that her body should betray her so badly.

EJ must have felt the sudden tension in her body because he lifted his head from her swollen teat and looked at her with bleary brown eyes. Sami knew this was the moment she should express outrage or at least find some way to make him stop, expressing health concerns on EJ's behalf. She was engaged to Rafe – this just wasn't right. Sami expected EJ to say something, comment on what was happening between them and try and draw out her emotions as he always did. Instead before Sami knew what was happening EJ had pushed her legs further apart and mounted her in one effortless stroke.

Sami gasped, her hands flying out to EJ's arms in shock over the sudden movement. She bit her bottom lip hard as her body frantically tried to accommodate his vast size. It had been so long that Sami had forgotten how big EJ was but he was reminding her now. Her nails dug into his arms as EJ gave her no chance to adjust to his impressive girth, simply beginning to thrust powerfully into her. It was only because he'd gotten her so wet that Sami could take him all at once like this and it was such a stark contrast to the other two times they'd made love.

Both times EJ had solicitously waited until Sami was comfortable before proceeding – even that first time. Not now though, now EJ had simply penetrated her and was riding her hard. Her body, over the initial shock, was being completely compliant now, meeting each one of EJ's increasingly hard thrusts. EJ's uneven breathing filled the air as he strained inside of her, holding himself just above her, watching her face as he drove himself relentlessly into her again and again. Sami could only stare back at him wide eyed, trying to work out how this had happened.

She told herself this didn't count; it wasn't cheating on Rafe as long as she didn't cum. Her addled brain clung to that thought as she valiantly did battle with her body. Her body wasn't interested though as EJ suddenly grunted and stiffened against her and Sami felt him flood her with his hot seed. Instantly the sensation made Sami climax, a sharp, short orgasm tearing through her body. Sami tried to swallow her pleasure and not let EJ see it but there was no way he could be in doubt as her body convulsed around his. Sami closed her eyes and gave a low groan, horrified that had just happened.

Already she was justifying it, trying to find a way to make it not what it was. She'd had to do this to keep her secret, it was the only way. She'd been half asleep and not aware of what she was doing, EJ had tricked her. The list quickly grew in Sami's head, knowing she'd need them all to find a way to live with herself for doing what she'd just done. At least it was over now and Sami could work out a way to make sure it never happened again. She steeled herself for EJ's loving afterglow conversation, knowing he'd be wanting her to tell him that she loved him and how special it was between them. Sami figured she could do that, say what he wanted to hear as long as it got her out of this bed as quickly as possible.

Her eyes flew open as she felt EJ begin to move inside of her again. She stared up at him wide eyed as EJ gave a little grunt, beginning to work on her body again with his. Sami realised to her horror that EJ was still as swollen and hard inside of her as he'd been when he'd first penetrated her. Clearly that first release hadn't been enough for him and he was intent on taking more pleasure from her body. Sami wanted to scream at him to stop, that she didn't want this but instead her legs hooked themselves around EJ's waist, driving him deeper into her. It was like her body had a mind of its own and had been denied this too long.

EJ had her twice more in that position before he was finally done and each time he climaxed Sami came right along with him and the last time Sami had almost lost consciousness from the force of her release. The whole time EJ hadn't spoken beyond increasingly excited grunting when he was getting close to cumming. When he was done at long last EJ had simply pressed a kiss to Sami's forehead and pulled out of her, rolling off the bed and heading towards the bathroom. Within seconds Sami heard the shower running as she lay there, still trying to catch her breath and work out what the hell had just happened.

She couldn't understand why EJ wasn't still holding her, crooning that he loved her and coaxing her into saying the same. EJ always wanted to talk, always and Sami didn't know what to make of this silence. She glanced over at the clock and was shocked to see that over an hour had passed since she'd woken up. EJ had been labouring away inside of her for over an hour and that thought was a wanton one for Sami and made her blush violently.

It made her feel whorish that she hadn't protested even once and the fact that the bed sheets she was lying on were soaked with the juices of their combined arousal only reinforced that thought for Sami. No one could see the bed in this state – it was bad enough the room was thick with the smell of sex and sweat. That thought galvanised Sami into action and she went to roll out of bed and remove the linen from the bed herself. She tried to stand up but her legs were too weak and she ended up on all fours beside the bed, her body a shaking mess.

"Never again," Sami vowed through clenched teeth, "Never again."


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter TWO**

Sami was occupied with cleaning up the kitchen after having fed the twins and Sydney breakfast, feeling quietly proud of herself. She'd gone to bed late last night, after EJ had fallen asleep and was up early, before he'd woken up. Sami didn't want a repeat of yesterday morning and still couldn't believe she'd let herself do what she had. Although she hadn't done anything Sami argued with herself. She hadn't initiated the sex and had been a victim almost to it. EJ hadn't forced her but with the secret of his shooting hanging over Sami's head it was as good as the same thing. Sami nodded grimly, hanging onto the belief for all it was worth. It was the only way she'd be able to look Rafe in the eye ever again.

All of yesterday Sami had been bracing herself for EJ to want to talk about what had happened between them that morning but he never did. Instead he just spent time with the children, had a nap in the afternoon and helped to feed the children and put them to bed that night. It had been a perfectly normal family scene. Rafe had rung several times but Sami hadn't been able to bring herself to answer his calls yesterday. Today she would call him and come up with a suitable excuse. Sami had to come up with any kind of excuse other than not wanting to talk to her fiancé whilst the ache between her legs from having another man inside of her for so long distracted her.

Rafe could never know.

Sami could hear EJ and the children playing and laughing out in the other room and let herself relax a little. It looked like yesterday's early morning activities had satisfied EJ for now and Sami had a little space to work out her next move. At least one good thing to come out of this was that EJ wasn't going to question her good wife cover and that meant Sami was one step closer to being safe from being exposed as the shooter. Sami didn't have a plan beyond that yet but right now it was enough. She absently continued cleaning up after the breakfast carnage of the children, happy to have the menial task to distract her from her confused thoughts.

"You were up early this morning."

Sami gave a violent start as EJ's voice was suddenly in her ear, his strong arms around her waist as he pressed his long body against her back.

"I-ah the twins needed me," Sami stammered out the lie.

"Well I need you now," said EJ, his voice low and demanding in her ear, "I need my fix."

His hand went boldly to Sami's breast, slipping inside her blouse and beginning to massage it, almost too roughly. Sami's hands went to the kitchen table in front of her to stabilise herself, suddenly feeling her knees go weak at his touch. Sami's eyes went wide as she felt EJ begin to rub himself against her backside, feeling the hard on EJ was already sporting.

"The-the children," Sami forced out unevenly, feeling the panic well up inside of her.

"Mary has taken them outside to play," said EJ, turning Sami around now and looking down at her .

Sami swallowed hard at the obvious hunger she saw in his eyes. Her wayward body responded to that look by soaking through her panties but Sami knew she couldn't let this happen again.

"Not here EJ," said Sami hoarsely, trying to distract him and knowing he really couldn't want them to have sex here in such a public place that anyone could walk in on them.

"Yes here," said EJ determinedly, picking up Sami and depositing her on the kitchen table.

Sami's heart was practically beating out of her chest as she knew it was up to her now to stop this. EJ pushed up her skirt and pulled Sami's panties off and the whole time she just watched him, suddenly having lost the power of speech. This couldn't be happening she told herself numbly, not again, please not again. EJ now knelt in front of Sami and pushed her legs wider apart and proceeded to perform the best oral sex act on Sami that she'd ever experienced in her life. Sami threw her head back and choked back a groan, leaning back on the table with her hands as EJ's clever tongue flicked, suckled and delved into her most intimate of places.

His closely shaved head, a remnant of how close he'd come to death at her very hands, created a delicious friction between Sami's legs and only added to the sensations rioting through her body. They were in the kitchen in full view of any number of the many people who roamed the house should they simply walk through the door. If Sami had been concerned about being thought a whore yesterday morning then today she should be beside herself. Instead of blushes and outrage though Sami watched herself in a daze as she placed her feet on EJ's shoulders and moved her legs further apart, letting him have free reign of her body. Sami didn't care what this looked like in that moment, only that EJ should keep going and never stop.

"Oh god," she choked out weakly, feeling herself begin to pulsate and throb, the tension building inside of her.

Sami came hard and all over EJ's face, feeling her juices explode from her body which EJ hungrily drank up while she shuddered helplessly under the throes of her orgasm. Her head still reeling from the effects of her powerful release she blinked groggily up at EJ who suddenly straightened up and fumbled with his pants. His hard on sprang free from his pants and Sami barely had enough time to enjoy the sight of the purple monster before she was impaled on it. Sami gave a little squeal at the fierceness of EJ's penetration but then he was pounding himself into her so hard and fast that the kitchen was quickly filled with his strained grunts and the sound of his balls making that satisfying slapping sound every time he penetrated her completely.

It took less than a minute before EJ came inside of her and Sami watched in fascination as his handsome face crumpled into pure delight and ecstasy. Surely now would come the declarations of love and adoration that Sami was used to when EJ was moved thusly. When EJ finally finished pumping his steaming seed into her he gave a satisfied groan, pulling out of Sami. She was still overwhelmed by what had just happened between them yet again and looked up at EJ expectantly for him to tell her what she did to him or how beautiful she looked right then.

"Come on," said EJ, his voice still rough from his release as he pulled out of her, "Let's get you cleaned up Mrs DiMera."

EJ took Sami's hand after rearranging his own clothing and helped her down from the table. He kept hold of her hand and led her back upstairs to their bedroom, a shell shocked Sami only able to follow his lead. EJ stripped them both naked and lay Sami down on the bed, climbing in after her. Sami couldn't control her uneven breathing as EJ pushed her legs apart and began doing what he promised – cleaning her up. Sami moaned loudly as EJ's tongue found her core, lapping at their combined juices, never having had a man do anything remotely like this for her before. When he was done EJ sat up and looked down at the mesmerised Sami and reached out a hand, slowly dragging it down her compliant body. His fingers moved from Sami's collar bone to between her breasts, down her stomach and ending up on her hairless mound.

"Perfection," EJ offered up huskily, his first words in the way of a compliment since this madness had started.

Sami was shocked with how her heart thrilled at the simple word, not realising how starved she was of EJ's beautiful words until they were no longer there. She couldn't help the pleased smile that came to her lips at that, craving more of the same. EJ saw her response to his praise and his eyes darkened.

"Mine," he growled, tightening his grip on her mound and Sami gasped at the need she saw in EJ's expression once again.

Sami wanted to scream at him that she wasn't any man's possession and that how dare he treat her like something to be owned but EJ was already reaching for her again. He moved so that his back was against the headboard of the bed and Sami couldn't take her eyes off his massive hard on. EJ was back to being at full attention again and Sami's body instinctively responded to the sight of it, knowing how much pleasure it could bring her.

EJ pulled Sami into his lap, grabbing her by the hips and unceremoniously pulling her down onto his cock. Sami's eyes went wide as the huge purple head pushed past her folds and found its way into her core. EJ was watching her face as settled in to having him inside her once again, straddling him as he sat up on the bed. EJ's hands left Sami's backside and reached over his head to grip the head board behind him.

"Ride me," he instructed her, his eyes never leaving her face.

Sami bit her bottom lip, stricken. Up until now she'd been able to console herself with the fact that it had been EJ who had made all the moves. He'd been the one to drive them both into a frenzy of delight, not her. Sami had given herself a get out of jail free card so far because she hadn't initiated anything, playing the part of EJ's helpless victim to perfection. He had some kind of weird hold on her Sami told herself so it wasn't really her fault when she kept letting him take her body like this. Now however EJ was handing her the responsibility. All she had to do was climb off him and this would be done with. EJ's expression told her that he wouldn't stop her.

"Ride me Samantha," EJ pushed her again, his velvety voice wrapping around Sami like tendrils, "Make us both cum."

Sami wanted EJ to tell her how badly he wanted that, how amazing she felt right now, how much he loved her but he didn't say anything else, simply stared at her with those dark, unblinking eyes and Sami knew this was her moment to stop all of this insanity. She couldn't be an active member in cheating on Rafe, the man she loved with a man he hated – Sami knew she just couldn't. It would be the worst thing she'd ever done, betraying who she believed herself to be at her very core.

EJ hissed loudly as Sami drew herself up until she was almost free of him before dropping herself back down on that rigid member of his. Sami's body approved of what she'd done by providing fresh moisture, pushing it out of her body so that when she raised herself up again EJ's cock glistened with her the juices of her own arousal. EJ gave an approving grunt, resting his head back against the back board and closing his eyes and Sami knew she wasn't going to stop now until he'd filled her to overflowing once more and hopefully EJ might offer her another clean up session because of it. The thought made Sami pick up the pace, not letting any thoughts into her head right then other than how hard she was going to make both of them cum.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter THREE**

Sami threw back her head and let out a loud groan, the sound bouncing off the walls of the DiMera indoor swimming pool. EJ's daily rehabilitation swim had come to its usual conclusion and Sami was loving every minute of it. The idea had been was that Sami should help EJ with his exercises in the water to regain his full strength more quickly and to make sure no harm came to him in the water – pretty ironic when Sami thought about it. The reality however was that EJ's water exercises invariable involved taking her up against the pool wall or beside it at some point and Sami had lost the will to stop him a long time ago. It just felt too damn good.

They were beside the pool now, both of them dripping wet. EJ was completely naked and deeply embedded in Sami while she still managed to have her bikini top on and nothing else. Sami's groan was because she'd just been on the verge of cumming when EJ had once again slowed his strokes. He sat back on his haunches, pulling Sami's lower body up onto his lap with the action, her shoulders still on the tiled pool room floor. EJ was breathing just as erratically as she was, pool water mixed with his own sweat after having laboured for so long inside of her already. The man's self control was truly daunting.

EJ tilted his head, one hand coming out to stroke her body soothingly and Sami bit back another groan of frustration at knowing he wouldn't continue until she'd calmed down. He always liked to make the sex in public places last as long as possible, Sami had learnt that in the last two weeks. She wasn't sure why but suspected it was for the same reason sex in these kinds of places got her so hot. It was the thrill of not knowing if someone was going to walk through that door and catch them in such a compromising position that did it for Sami. Inadvertently Sami's eyes flicked to the single door that led into the pool room. EJ caught her glance.

"I wouldn't stop," he informed her, his voice rough from his own arousal.

"Wh-what?" asked Sami, looking up at him in surprise as he answered the question she'd often wondered about.

EJ gave a little shrug and continued to stroke her body with both hands now, fondling Sami's breasts, her stomach and mound.

"Even if someone walks in on us I'm not going to stop fucking you Samantha," EJ clarified, his eyes intently on her face.

Sami gave a little gasp as a sharp volley of sensations ripped through her body at that statement, almost pushing her over the edge.

"You like the thought of that don't you?" commented EJ with the faintest smile on his lips.

"No," Sami protested hotly.

EJ gave a dry little laugh at that.

"My beautiful liar," he said, a whimsical smile coming to his lips.

Sami gave a little shudder, this time because he'd called her beautiful. Her hungry heart ate it up but it only left her starving for more. EJ was incredibly attentive to her every need physically but the usual emotion he lavished on her was missing these days and Sami was beginning to ache for that as much as she did for the physical attention.

"It's a good thing your lies keep me so hard isn't it sweetheart?" EJ posed the question wryly.

[i]_Sweetheart_.[/i]

He hadn't called her that in forever it felt and it was like music to Sam's ears, filling her to overflowing. How could she miss a simple endearment so much she wondered helplessly? It was so overwhelming that she didn't even question his comment about lies.

"Now calm down there's a good girl," EJ instructed her throatily, "And we can start again. Would you like that?"

Sami could only nod powerlessly, knowing that she was EJ's to do with as he pleased.

"Good," said EJ with a hungry look, "Because this is going to take awhile."

Sami gave a weak moan and forced herself to calm down so she could get more of what EJ's expression promised.

[center]**oooOOOOooo**[/center]

Sami walked up and down the bedroom she shared, in the fullest sense of the word, with EJ for the last two and a half weeks and listened to the sound of EJ taking a shower in the other room. None of this was going to plan and Sami spent most of her time somewhere in between complete and utter panic and a post orgasmic haze. The days had begun to fall into a routine for Sami and she didn't even know how it had happened. In the morning she would usually be woken up by EJ, hungry for her body which she of course willingly gave him. It was a rare day that didn't see him taking her at least twice before they even got up for the day. Then it was the two of them looking after Sydney and the twins, playing with them and just generally being a family. When the children all went down for their naps she'd be EJ's again.

Often they wouldn't even have sex during that time but the things EJ would do to her body would leave Sami literally panting for more so that when their afternoon nap time came around she would practically attack him. Then there was the physio sessions in the pool and then of course bed time. Sometimes EJ would leave her alone for most of the night in the bed, Sami holding her breath for when he'd reach for her and it was almost like EJ enjoyed making her wait. Finally Sami would fall into an exhausted sleep only to woken by a demanding EJ however much later.

Sami never questioned giving her body to him over and over anymore. EJ wanted her and Sami gave herself willingly. Occasionally Sami would remind herself that she was only doing this to keep her secret safe but then she'd cum so violently, screaming out EJ's name that it hardly seemed important anymore. The whole time she was ducking Rafe's phone calls, answering them only to fob him off on actually meeting up.

At first it was because she didn't want to face him over what she was doing with EJ and was worried the guilt would show all over her face. Now however it was she and EJ were on such a tight schedule of sex and other delicious acts that Sami couldn't tear herself away. A part of her wondered if EJ would actually stop her from going anywhere if it was getting close to their usual interlude times. Sami didn't know why but she rather liked the idea of EJ being so territorial of their time together and refusing to let her go.

The truth was that despite having grown physically closer than Sami ever thought possible there was still this huge emotional distance between them that was slowly eating Sami up inside. EJ had always declared his love and devotion for her all day every day, practically since they'd first met and now nothing. Sami was left wondering what it was exactly that EJ was thinking and feeling when it came to her and she didn't like it. She had to wonder if that was the reason he had so much power over her physically right now. It was like if Sami could give herself to EJ enough times in enough ways he'd open up and let her back in and then she'd have the power back in their relationship.

But then why did she even want that Sami argued with herself, still pacing frantically? EJ obviously hated her and had never loved her anyway if he could do what he had with Sydney. And Sami didn't care anyway because she'd always hated him so that should have worked out nicely. Only it wasn't working out nicely – none of it was. Not only was EJ unravelling Sami's mental state slowly but completely but he was utterly screwing up the future she'd always hoped for with the perfect man. How was she meant to go back to Rafe now and pretend nothing had happened? Sami doubted even she was that good a liar.

"This is stupid!" she muttered, angry at herself, "I hate him, he hates me so just stop it Sa...oooHHHHHAAAHH!"

Sami's legs buckled from underneath her as she fell onto the floor on her hands and knees, crying out through a particularly strong orgasm – a little gift from her supposed husband. That morning EJ had produced a black box with a velvet white ribbon for her. Sami had been excited at the thought of him expressing his feelings for her through a gift but when she opened it she hadn't known what it was.

"It's called a love egg," EJ informed her with a quirk of his lips.

"What do I do with it?" Sami asked in consternation looking at the little cylindrical device in confusion.

"What do you think you do with it?" EJ had asked with a little laugh.

"Oh," said Sami, her eyes going wide, "Oh!"

She'd looked over at EJ uncertainly.

"You can't expect me to put this in my umm-" Sami trailed off, blushing furiously.

"Of course not sweetheart," said EJ, using that word again that just made Sami melt, "I'll do the honours."

"Aren't these things meant to have controls or something?" asked Sami, still very unsure.

"They do and I have them," said EJ with a nod.

"Well do I get the controls then?" Sami had asked in exasperation.

"What do you think?" asked EJ, a mischievous light coming to his eyes.

"Oh," Sami had said again, looking suddenly worried.

The whole morning Sami had been subjected to a series of seemingly never ending orgasms. EJ had complete control of the device and alternated it between vibrations, pulsating and a lot of other settings that had Sami whimpering under her breath most of the day. It hadn't occurred to her to say no or to remove the device. If EJ wanted it then Sami found she just couldn't say no and besides it felt amazing even if her orgasms were inconveniently timed at time – no doubt that being EJ's plan of course.

"This has to stop," said Sami shakily, getting to her feet unsteadily.

Sami knew the only way to break the spell EJ had over her was to tell him the truth. Then he'd want nothing more to do with her and then Sami might have a chance of salvaging her tattered relationship with Rafe. If she told EJ she shot him then he'd never forgive her but she'd just deny it so that there would be no repercussions beyond that. The investigation into his shooting had turned up no new evidence anyway so Sami figured she was beginning to be in the clear. Sami walked into the bathroom without knocking and EJ turned around in the shower, uncaring of his nakedness.

"I'd say come in but from the sounds of it a few minutes ago you were already doing your fair share of cumming Mrs DiMera," EJ commented with a knowing smile.

Sami looked over at the bathroom counter and saw what she assumed was the control device.

"If I'd known you were so close I'd have made you cum for longer," EJ noted, absently rubbing soap over his chest as he watched her, "I do love music in the shower and there is nothing more entertaining than a beautiful woman cumming noisily because you made it happen."

"EJ," said Sami, her face flushing bright red at his words.

"Samantha?" repeated EJ back to her and arched an eyebrow at her.

"We have to talk," Sami choked out, unconsciously following his hand as it drifted lower and encircled the hard on he'd been sporting that had been there since she walked into the room.

"About what?" asked EJ mildly and Sami was mesmerised by the sight of his long fingers stroking that impressive staff.

"I-I-" Sami's mind was a complete blank.

All day she'd been orgasming but it wasn't the same as when it was EJ's cock inside of her making it happen. EJ saw how fascinated Sami was by his actions and gave a knowing little smile. With his free hand he reached for the control device for the love egg. EJ stepped out of the direct spray of the shower and leant back against the tiled wall of the shower, a wicked look coming over his face. Sami wasn't entirely sure how it happened but the conversation she was meant to have about being the one to shoot EJ ended up with watching EJ jerk himself off in the shower while she watched and he controlled the vibrating egg inside of her.

Sami had so many orgasms she couldn't even begin to count them in the end and it was just so damn satisfying knowing that EJ was getting off on watching her noisily cum each time as she gripped the bathroom counter top behind her, barely able to stand. EJ joined in when he finally released his load, the milky substances shooting from his pulsating tip in an almost violent stream which seemed never ending for a moment. EJ had given up several rounds of sex for Sami to have her toy and apparently his body had something to say about that. When they were finally both done EJ turned off the shower and dried himself off.

"I think that's enough for you for you today young lady," said EJ crouching down in front of her and finding his way past her completely drenched underwear to remove the egg for her.

EJ straightened up, the egg in his hand as Sami looked up at him dazedly.

"I'll only allow competition up to a certain point," he informed her and Sami looked at him in confusion, unsure if they were still talking about the sex toy.

EJ didn't elaborate however and once again leaded Sami out of the room by the hand. He sat down on the bed, not bothering with clothes and looked at Sami, noticing how she was looking at him. Sami was still so unbearably frustrated despite all that had just passed between them. Nothing was a substitute for EJ – nothing.

"Want more?" asked EJ with an indulgent smile.

Sami swallowed hard and had to wonder what she'd become but could only dutifully nod yes.

"Then I guess you'd better work for it," EJ noted, looking down at his spent member and then back at Sami expectantly.

Sami knew that this ache between her legs wasn't going anywhere until EJ made it go. She slowly sunk to her knees and hear EJ gave a pleased, approving noise as she took him in her hand and then into her mouth. She felt his hands go to her head and a kiss get pressed to the top of her head.

"That's my girl," he said and for just a split second Sami thought she heard some kind of great emotion in his voice and that made her only want to please him more as she began to work enthusiastically on his body...


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter FOUR**

"You're late," said Rafe in frustration, obviously trying not to look upset but failing.

"The traffic was bad," said Sami weakly.

"_Were are you off to?" asked EJ with a little smile as he sauntered into the garage where Sami was about to get into her car._

"_I just thought I'd make a quick run to the shops," said Sami lied hastily as she stood behind the open door of the driver's side._

_Sami was actually off to meet Rafe but she could hardly tell EJ that. They'd barely seen each other in this last month and Rafe was one unhappy camper. Sami was going to try and placate him so that he didn't make this situation worse although at this point it was hard to imagine that being possible._

"_Is that alright?" asked Sami a little uncertainly._

"_Of course Samantha," said EJ, looking surprised she should ask, "You're not a prisoner here. This is your home, you can come and go as you please."_

"_Oh right," said Sami unevenly, not sure what else she expected him to say. _

_The truth was that she was a prisoner here – albeit a willing one. The more sex she and EJ had the more Sami needed it to be something more than that. She was shocked the first time she'd realised that but it was true and growing more true every day. There were a million reasons to hate this man standing in front of her but Sami could no longer pretend that any of them mattered. There was no way she'd get the amount of pleasure she did from their love making if there wasn't love involved. The thought scared Sami though because now she no longer knew if EJ loved her anymore. Very slowly but surely Sami was completely losing her mind. _

"_Do you want anything?" she asked brightly, trying to make this sound all very casual. _

"_There is one thing I want," EJ nodded and Sami looked at him expectantly._

"_I'm going to Salem Place," she informed him which was actually true, that was where she was going to meet up with Rafe at the coffee shop, "Which shop do you need me to go to?"_

"_None of them," said EJ, "What I want can't be bought."_

_EJ took Sami's hand and led her away from the car door, closing it firmly._

"_Oh," said Sami, well used to that look now and feeling her body tighten in anticipation even as she protested, "EJ I'm going to be late."_

_EJ drew Sami around to the front of the car, turned her around and bent her over so that her palms were flat on the car's hood. _

"_If you're a good girl this won't take long," EJ informed her and Sami gave a quiver of excitement at the promise in his voice. _

_EJ's hands slip up her thighs, taking her skirt with them so that her backside was exposed to him. Next Sami heard the sound of EJ undoing his zip before she felt him lean over her, his lips at her ear. _

"_And if you're a bad girl it will take even less time," he said, his voice a warm, wet promise in her ear. _

_Sami groaned and rested her cheek against the cool metal of the car hood as she felt EJ pull aside her panties, no question of if either one of them would be ready for the other because they always were. _

"_Oh god!" Sami moaned into the hood as she felt him slide his hot, velvet cock into her, stretching her walls to capacity. _

_She heard give a little grunt of satisfaction as well. _

"_Actually you know what sweetheart?" asked EJ thickly, "I lied – this is going to take awhile."_

_Sami squeezed her eyes closed and prayed EJ would take as much time as he wanted with her. _

"That's it?" asked Rafe in aggravation, "I haven't seen you in over a week and I get 'traffic's bad'?"

"Well it was," said Sami defensively.

"_EJ!" Sami cried out as she sobbed out her release into the car hood._

"_I know," he grunted, still hammering her hard with that unrelenting cock of his, "Feels good doesn't it?"_

"_Yes!" Sami choked out, still spasming helplessly. _

"_I'm not done with you yet," said EJ hoarsely, his teeth clenched against his own pleasure, "I'm never going to be... ahh... done with you Samantha."_

"_I know," Sami moaned into the car hood, "Oh god I know!"_

"So how are you?" asked Rafe curtly, not looking like he really cared.

"I'm fine," said Sami, biting her bottom lip nervously.

"You look all flushed," Rafe noted, "Are you coming down with something?"

"_What do you want Samantha?" EJ panted in her ear, still pounding her hard._

_Sami didn't think, she just answered on instinct._

"_I want to go down on you," she said helplessly and she truly did. _

_EJ gave a please growl at that and suddenly she felt him withdraw from her and Sami pushed herself up from the hood and turned around, sinking down on shaking knees in front of him. EJ's erection was huge and heavily veined, bright pink from its energetic activities inside of her body. Sami eagerly took it into her mouth, tasting her own arousal which covered it completely. Her hands sort out EJ's balls and began to massage them for him as she sucked and coddled his hard on into ever greater glory knowing that she was ultimately going to be the winner out of this when EJ impaled her again with this ever growing beast. EJ's moans quickly filled the garage just as Sami's had and she smiled around her more than a mouthful. _

"No I'm fine!" snapped Sami, her cheeks heating even more as the memories of only half an hour ago bombarded her.

"Remind me again why you're getting all snippy when I'm the one who's been sitting here for an hour waiting for you to turn up?" asked Rafe, his face darkening.

Sami blinked at him and knew he was right but then why couldn't she bring herself to care. The reality was that all of her thoughts were with EJ and what he was thinking and doing. During their last tryst Sami thought he'd almost been ready to tell her something.

"_Oh god that is good!" EJ moaned raggedly against Sami's neck as he came almost violently inside of her. _

_Sami stayed as she was perched on top of the car and having already cum yet again a few minutes earlier, her legs wrapped around EJ's waist. She hugged EJ to her and just let him enjoy the sensations that were no doubt rushing through his body. This felt so right that Sami never wanted it to end and she was forced to blink away a tear of sadness over how this could have been perfect if things had been different. EJ pulled his head back and gazed down at Sami with bleary eyes. Sami couldn't help herself, she reached out a hand and stroked his sweaty face tenderly._

_EJ licked his lips and looked down at her, eyes suddenly hooded. Sami held her breath, wondering if he was going to kiss her. All of this time, all of the love making and EJ hadn't kissed her once in the last month. He's pressed kisses to her head, her cheek and body – anywhere but her mouth and Sami needed that so desperately right now. She needed to know how he felt about her and Sami just knew his kisses would tell her, they always did. There seemed to be some great struggle going on inside of EJ until suddenly the walls came up once again._

"_Thank you Samantha," EJ said rather cordially as he withdrew from her, disappointing Sami with the kiss, "I think that will tide me over for now."_

"_Oh," said Sami quietly and she couldn't hide the disappointment on her face. _

"You know I've been engaged before so I'm kind of familiar with how these things work," said Rafe bitterly, "But shouldn't my fiancé be living with me instead of shack up with some mobster?"

"I have to be there," said Sami unevenly, "You know that Rafe."

"Just let the guy die Sami!" said Rafe curtly, "No one is going to give a crap!"

"His children might," said Sami tersely.

It occurred to her it was pretty funny of her to be thinking of that this late in the game but it was still true.

"Sydney and Johnny don't need a bad guy as their father," Rafe argued, "They need a good guy and I'm a good guy Sami. Just come home to me and let the chips fall where they may. The kids are young enough that they'll get over whatever happens – particularly with us providing a stable home for them."

"I can't deal with this right now Rafe," said Sami, looking stressed.

"I finally get you to grace me with your presence and all you can tell me is that you can't deal with this?" asked Rafe in disbelief, "Really Sami – really?"

"I just need you to be a bit understanding Rafe," said Sami unevenly.

"Understanding?" Rafe practically shouted and Sami looked around the coffee shop at the other patrons uncomfortably as they all turned to stare, "All I've ever been is understanding when it comes to you Sami!"

"Well I wouldn't know because you never tell me what is going on in your head!" Sami snapped at him but that particular dart was meant for another man.

Rafe made an annoyed sound and glanced down at his watch and glared at Sami.

"I've got to put more money in the meter seeing as you took so long showing up," he said tersely, "If you think you can spare the time I'll tell you exactly what is on my mind and what we're going to do next okay?"

"Okay," said Sami with a roll of her eyes.

Rafe stomped off or at least that was how it seemed to Sami. It was oddly familiar. Sami sighed heavily and stood up, deciding she needed to splash some water on her face before Rafe's return. She came out of the ladies room and started to walk towards the table she and Rafe were sharing. Suddenly Sami stopped and wondered what she was doing. She looked out of the coffee shop window where Rafe was across the street and talking to someone she didn't recognise. Sami blinked and everything hit her at once.

Her whole relationship with Rafe she'd been looking for him to save her from something – in witness protection, during Grace's illness, the thing with Nicole and Sydney being taken and just rescuing her from being lonely in general. She'd been so consumed with making sure he was happy and she was the woman he wanted her to be so that he'd stay and be her hero that Sami suddenly realised she'd lost herself in all of that.

Her life was a mess but Sami realised that if there was ever going to be a way to change that she had to be her own hero and rescue herself. It was suddenly blindingly clear to Sami that Rafe was the soft option for her – one that would never require her to step up and solve her own problems, be her own person and take responsibility for her actions. Of course it had appealed to Sami at the time but now she realised it would never satisfy her – not ultimately. She didn't know what was happening with her and EJ but Sami now knew she wanted to find out.

Sami reached into her bag and took the ring Rafe had given her and without hesitation lay it down on the table where he'd been sitting. She just kept on walking then, heading out of the coffee shop and walking in the opposite direction to Rafe. Sami knew he deserved better, an explanation at least but somehow she knew Rafe would be alright. She'd always been the one clutching at the relationship, not him and no doubt it was going to be a relief for him ultimately. Sami just kept on walking and never looked back.

Rafe walked back into the coffee shop, his lips twisting in annoyance at seeing the empty table. He figured Sami was in the lady's room and went to sit down. As he did he noticed the ring that was sitting there. He picked it up and recognised it immediately as the one he'd given Sami.

"SON OF A BITCH!"


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter FIVE**

"Hi Sami," smiled Rose, "It's been a little while since we last saw you."

"Sorry," said Sam with an apologetic smile, "My life has been crazy lately."

Before heading back to the mansion and back to EJ to try and work out what was really going on between them Sami had decided on a little pick me up. She'd stopped in at her favourite spa for a little maintenance. She'd been going here for years to get all of her waxing done.

"That's okay," laughed Rose, "So are we doing the usual for you today – eyebrows, underarms and a brazilian?"

Rafe had always liked Sami to keep herself completely hairless down there.

_Sami squeezed her eyes and her legs closed as she gritted her teeth through a powerful orgasm, crushing EJ's head between her thighs as she did. _

"_Sorry," Sami panted when she finally had the presence of mind to loosen her grip on him. _

_EJ gave a half smile._

"_There are worse fates to befall a man then being suffocated between the thighs of a woman orgasming," he commented, a teasing light in his eyes as he settled more comfortable between Sami's legs. _

"_EJ," Sami laughed and blushed. _

_Sami was resting back against the pillows on the bed; her legs over EJ's shoulders as he lay on his stomach, chin now resting on her mound. _

"_Do you want to cum now?" asked Sami and she could hear the note of excited anticipation in her own voice, "You must be so hard EJ."_

_He'd been pleasuring her for awhile now with his mouth and hands and knew that his hard on was going to be particularly huge and very unforgiving about taking what it wanted. Sami gave an uncontrolled little shudder at that thought. _

"_I am," said EJ throatily which had Sami biting her bottom lip in eagerness, "But I want to stay like this for a moment."_

_Sami nodded, happy to give EJ whatever he wanted. EJ began to rub his chin and cheek along her mound, the scrape of his afternoon beard across the sensitive flesh making Sami's nipples harden painfully. He pressed a lingering kiss to her mound before raising a hand and playing with the smattering of hairs that were growing back there._

"_Sorry," Sami apologised, blushing again, "I haven't had time to make an appointment at my waxing place."_

"_I like it," EJ informed her, lifting his eyes and staring into hers, fingers still playing with the sparse growth, "It reminds me of the first time I had you."_

_Sami's stomach turned over at the mention of that. _

"_That isn't a particularly happy memory for me EJ," Sami said unsteadily._

"_You could have walked away," EJ observed, eyes still on her face, "You can always walk away Samantha." _

_Sami drew in a ragged breath. _

"_But you didn't want to," EJ said softly, "You wanted an excuse to taste the forbidden fruit without taking any kind of responsibility for it." _

"_It wasn't like that EJ," said Sami with a frown._

"_It's always like that for us," EJ disagreed with her, his face suddenly inscrutable. _

_EJ went back to playing with the hairs on her mound, seemingly lost in his memories. _

"_God but I've never had a woman cum so hard around me," he commented, almost talking to himself now, "That first time I thought you were going to snap my cock in two."_

"_I didn't cum," Sami protested, her cheeks flaming red now. _

_She was lying of course because to her great horror the first time EJ had put his swollen manhood into her she'd cum like a called dog. Sami had been disgusted with herself at the time but still remembered what it was like having EJ pounding into her that first time. She'd tried not to let EJ see it but it had been next to impossible. There had been a flash of triumph on his face before he'd emptied himself into her seconds later as well. _

"_What did I tell you about lies getting me hard?" asked EJ with an arched eyebrow. _

_EJ sat up and grabbed Sami's thighs, flipping her over onto her stomach. Sami gasped as she felt him rub his cock between her swollen folds that were slick with her own arousal. EJ then pulled Sami up on her knees, her face still pressed against the bed sheets._

"_But that doesn't mean they still shouldn't be punished," he purred. _

_Sami felt the mattress move as EJ climbed off the bed but she didn't move, staying exactly as he'd placed her. The mattress dipped once more as EJ quickly returned. _

"_Ready for your punishment Mrs DiMera?" EJ asked, his voice starting to thicken a little now._

"_Yes," Sami croaked, feeling her stomach muscles tighten in anticipation of what EJ had in store for her._

_She felt something new amongst her folds now, something being rubbed up against them and getting coated in the juices of her arousal. The next thing Sami knew she could feel something being pressed against her anus and gave a little gasp. _

"_Relax sweetheart," EJ commanded her, "You need to take your punishment."_

_Sami buried her head in the bed sheets and moaned loudly, not even questioning him but instead trying to do what EJ wanted. EJ eased what Sami now knew was the love egg into her anus, the device sliding in quite easily after a little bit of initial resistance and thanks to her own juices. Sami bit her bottom lip as she felt her body grow accustom to it, never having done anything like this before. Suddenly the thing began to vibrate and Sami bucked up, unable to believe how good it felt. EJ had put it on a low setting, obviously wanting to tease for awhile yet and then his hands were back on her hips. He slid his enormous cock into her just as he turned up the speed on the egg._

"_FUCK!" Sami screamed, never being one to swear during sex before. _

"_Why thank you my dear," said EJ and Sami could actually hear the smirk in his voice but so didn't care right then, "I think I will."_

_EJ began a hard but steady rhythm that progressively built to a frantic pace and all Sami could do throughout the whole thing was scream her head off. She didn't care who heard her, Sami just couldn't stop and clearly her cries were exciting EJ because his noisy grunting groans soon filled the air as well. At some point Sami thought her 'punishment' was actually going to kill her and was becoming afraid of the climax she could feel building deep inside of her. _

_The walls of her rectum and vagina were both pulsating wildly with what was being done to them and as her orgasm approached Sami could feel herself bearing down on both in ever harder muscle spasms. Her orgasm when it came was every bit as powerful as she feared and Sami's voice was hoarse from begging for it to stop by the end of it. As soon as EJ had finished cumming inside of her with his own violent release and pulled out Sami collapsed onto her side, knowing it was unlikely she'd ever be able to walk again. _

_She could hear EJ's ragged breathing as he sucked in huge breaths of air, sounding as though he'd just run a marathon but she was too shattered to even open her eyes. The egg was still vibrating deep within her and her muscles were contracting helplessly around it. Suddenly EJ's voice was at her ear, thick and uneven. _

"_I don't want you to forget your punishment Samantha," he told her, his own voice hoarse, "So that stays in place for the rest of the day."_

_Sami gave a little sob, not knowing if she could stand such a thing – it was too much pleasure. She squealed then as EJ gave her backside a short sharp slap. It didn't hurt exactly but it made everything below her waist throb that much more and Sami as forced to grit her teeth to stop another orgasm overtaking her._

"_Okay?" EJ pushed her for her compliance. _

"_Okay," Sami whimpered, eyes still tightly closed and knowing this 'punishment' of EJ's was going to give her wet dreams for the rest of her life. _

"Sami?" repeated Rose, "I said is that okay?"

"Oh sorry Rose," said Sami and then had to clear her throat a little as her words came out a bit hoarse, "That's fine except I don't want a brazilian today, just a regular bikini wax."

"Oh," said Rose.

"My-my husband prefers it," said Sami, a blush coming to her cheeks.

"Well then we'd better give him what he likes then hm?" laughed Rose, having heard it all before.

"Yes," said Sami unevenly, "We'd better. Before we get started though may I use the bathroom Rose?"

The memories of her punishment from EJ had soaked her panties right through and Sami needed to do something about that before the waxing.

"Of course honey," she nodded, "You know where they are."

Sami gave a grateful nod and headed towards the bathroom. She quickly locked the door once she was in there and knew she had to do something about this painful throb between her legs. Sami pulled her panties off and sat down on the closed lid of the toilet, immediately seeking out her clit. It was huge and slippery and waiting for her and Sami immediately began to frantically rub it. She slipped her free hand inside of her blouse and into her bra, finding her nipple and beginning to roughly tweak it. Sami closed her eyes and pictured EJ's hungry mouth on her teat, working it hard and was forced to swallow a moan at the mental image.

Sometimes during sex EJ would whisper in her ear all of his secret fantasies. One of Sami's favourites was that he wanted to get her pregnant again and would then tell her all the things he wanted to do to her burgeoning body when that happened and the things he wanted to do to her swelling breasts in particular. He told of the fantasies he had about her pregnant body when she was carrying the twins, how he'd wanted to steal some the milk her full breasts had made for them once they were born. EJ had confessed he wanted to taste all the wonders her body were capable of producing.

Sami imagined EJ doing that just as she worked on her clit ever more furiously. She fantasised having just fed the twins and put them to bed only to return to her own bedroom to find EJ demanding his turn. Sami stifled a groan as she imagined EJ at her milk filled breasts, how he'd react, the way he'd fuck her afterwards. Sami would try and deny him, play a little game of withholding until EJ was forced to take what he wanted. He'd be rough with her but not too rough, just how he knew Sami liked it. She'd have to give him what he wanted in the end and EJ would have his way. He'd have to punish her for her teasing though and Sami's toes curled in her shoes as she imagined what that punishment would be.

Maybe EJ wouldn't let her sleep for the rest of the night, instead take her body over and over again until she sobbing for him to stop and let her have some respite from all the pleasure he was giving her. Maybe EJ would play with her for days, titillating her body remorselessly but refusing to let her cum until Sami was out of her mind and willing to give him whatever he wanted. Then he'd take her to a public place like the movies or some shop in the mall and screw her brains out and Sami wouldn't even care because she just needed her release.

But no matter how much EJ punished her Sami was never going to learn, continuing to make him work for the breast milk he desired so much and then suffering through her consequences gleefully. Sami had never had these kinds of fantasies before but EJ drew out the darker side to her nature that she'd always been so afraid of. Sami was becoming addicted to it and couldn't fight her attraction to and need for it now. She wanted a man who would push back when she pushed him – not walk away and EJ always knew how to push back and then some.

Sami gave a choked gasp, feeling herself drawing ever closer now to that glorious edge. She needed EJ's cock right now to finish her off but knew that couldn't be. Instead Sami withdrew her hand from her breast and plunged three of her fingers into her core and began to rapidly pump them in and out. It wasn't the same as EJ's merciless cock pounding her but for Sami in that moment it was enough. She exploded around her fingers, cumming in a mass of convulsing muscles and squirting body fluids. Sami collapsed back against the toilet, panting noisily. Despite all of that she still wasn't satisfied but it would hold her until she could get home for the real thing. EJ would know what to do about this burning ache between her legs that was eating her up from the inside out. Sami shakily cleaned herself up, threw water on her heated cheeks and tried to compose herself before going back out to Rose.

"Wayward whore," she whispered to her reflection in the mirror over what she'd just done and how much more she still wanted.

Instead of her reflection glaring back at her in disgust though, it smiled a wicked little smile of approval at Sami. She looked like a woman come completely alive and Sami couldn't remember that last time, if ever she'd seen that look on her face. Sami didn't know what her future with EJ was but for the first time she let herself admit that a future was exactly what she wanted with this man who undid her on so many levels that there were no words. The trouble was Sami didn't know if that was what EJ wanted now.

But she was going to find out.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter SIX**

"Hello?"

Sami called out into the empty looking room after having just arrived home.

"EJ, Ali, Johnny, Sydney?"

She listed her family's names knowing that Will was away for a couple of days on a school camp and definitely wouldn't be there. There was no response and Sami gave a little frown, wondering where everyone was. Even Kate and Stefano didn't seem to be anywhere about. Sami walked upstairs to the bedroom that she shared with EJ, still looking for someone to be home. She really needed for EJ to be there so she could talk to him. Sami wasn't entirely sure what she was going to say but she needed something to change in their relationship. She adored the sex but Sami wanted more, was desperate for more from EJ. As she walked into the bedroom the first thing she saw was EJ sitting in the armchair they had there, reading a book. He often liked to read there and Sami smiled at the sight.

"Hi," she said, feeling her heart skip a beat at how handsome he looked right then.

EJ's broad shoulders were stretching out a black shirt mercilessly and the open V-neck revealed the smattering of chest hair he had there. Lucas, Austin and Rafe had all been for all intents and purposes hairless in the chest department. Sami had found that she loved the hair on EJ's chest. She found it as sexy as hell, particularly when it was sliding up and down against her breasts, stimulating her nipples even more. Her breasts peaked at that thought, her nipples jutting out shamelessly against the material of her tight fitting blouse. She saw EJ's gaze drop to them, noticing them immediately which only made them harden even more, screaming for more hands on attention.

Sami knew they needed to talk but found herself unable to think straight in his presence. She glanced over at the clock and saw that it was nearly an hour past the normal time they'd be having their usual 'afternoon nap' together and her body was complaining at being deprived. It was like Sami's body was now hard wired to the schedule EJ had set up for them. Perhaps all the talking needed to happen after some hard sex Sami decided weakly. Then perhaps EJ might be less inclined to be upset when Sami told him she was the one who put a bullet in his brain. She knew she was only delaying the inevitable but Sami didn't care.

"Hi," responded EJ in that deep, rich voice of his, a small smile coming to his lips, "Back from shopping I see?"

"Aha," nodded Sami.

"You don't have any bags," EJ commented calmly, as he took off his reading glasses, "Didn't you find anything you wanted?"

"No," said Sami with a wry little laugh, thinking of Rafe, "I didn't."

"That's a shame," EJ said evenly, his gaze not leaving her face.

"Not really," said Sami with a shrug.

She gave a little frown.

"Where is everyone?" Sami asked, "Are the children sleeping? It's a bit late for that."

"My father wanted to take all the children to the circus," said EJ with a half smile, "So they are there now with him and Kate."

"Oh that sounds like fun," said Sami, picturing how excited they'd all be.

"I'm sure everyone will have a ball," agreed EJ, "And your grandmother rang and asked to have the children overnight because she hadn't seen them in a little while and I said yes. I hope that is alright with you Samantha?"

"Oh of course," said Sami quickly, "They love Grandma."

"My father is going to drop them off after the circus," EJ informed her.

"That should make for an interesting hand over," commented Sami wryly.

"They're all adults," said EJ with a bit of a shrug, "Or at least they can pretend to be for a few minutes for the sake of the children. We manage it after all."

Sami looked at him a little oddly for that comment but EJ had continued talking.

"Then I believe my father said he intended to wine and dine Kate and I believe they are planning on staying overnight at The Royale for something a bit different."

"Kate and Stefano are staying at a hotel tonight?" asked Sami in surprise.

Sami realised what that meant.

"So we've got the house to ourselves then?" Sami asked, hearing the note of eager anticipation that was creeping into her tone.

"That's about the size of it," agreed EJ easily.

Sami's stomach tightened in excitement at what the rest of the afternoon and night might hold for them.

"What should we do?" asked Sami, a coy little smile coming to her lips at this unexpected gift of extended alone time.

Sami walked up closer to EJ and he opened his legs so she could stand between them as he sat there.

"Well from where I'm sitting I think your nipples need me to suck on them for a little bit," observed EJ, putting out his hands and stroking the back of her thighs underneath Sami's skirt.

EJ's eyes were back on her breasts and Sami's nipples were so hard now it was painful.

"They do EJ," said Sami breathlessly, "I've been wanting that all afternoon."

"I wasn't very attentive to them in the garage," EJ agreed, looking regretful now, "Do they feel neglected by me?"

"Yes," said Sami unevenly, biting her bottom lip.

"Show me," EJ commanded her.

Sami's eager hands went to blouse, unbuttoning it with hands that were shaking badly with her need for this man. Her bra was one that conveniently clipped at the front so Sami simply undid the clasp and pulled her breasts free of the cups. Their soft fullness was now completely exposed to EJ's avid gaze, each nipple jutting out proudly from their creamy peaks. EJ studied them intently and Sami wanted to scream at him to just touch her but he seemed to want to make her wait.

"One has already had some attention today," EJ observed, looking up at Sami sharply, "Look at it."

Sami looked down and saw that her right teat was indeed more swollen and pink then its counterpart. It was the telltale result of her frantic tugging on it not so long ago as she climaxed around her own fingers.

"That was me," Sami confessed, going bright red as she put a hand up to rub her fingers against the distended flesh, "I was playing with it."

"Were you now?" asked EJ with interest.

"Yes," said Sami breathlessly, "I was making myself cum at the time."

EJ arched an eyebrow at that candid confession.

"Didn't I satisfy you in the garage Samantha?" EJ asked, his face hard to read now.

"You satisfied me EJ," said Sami shakily, "But I just needed more."

"Then I must not have satisfied you," EJ reasoned.

"It's-it's just that you usually take me at least a couple of times at that time," said Sami, finding this conversation a strangely thrilling one.

They didn't talk too much these days and Sami lapped up this chance to tell EJ what she was thinking and feeling.

"I guess my body was used to more and I had to do something about it," Sami told him with a tremulous smile.

"But you're the one who went out," EJ argued, "I had more to give you if you'd stayed."

"I know," Sami groaned, wishing now she'd stayed and just mailed Rafe's stupid ring back to him.

"I've got you well trained haven't I Samantha?" asked EJ with a sly smile.

His hands were caressing her bottom now over her silky panties, a light, tickling touch that had Sami's breathing even more uneven.

"Yes you have," said Sami weakly, her heart full to almost overflowing with love for him.

"And now we have the house to ourselves and many, many hours ahead of us to fill," EJ mused, "And apparently my wife is in need of some serious attention from me."

Nowadays every time EJ called her his wife there was this sharp pang of disappointment for Sami that it wasn't true. She couldn't tell him that of course, or at least she hadn't been able to but Sami knew the time was drawing ever closer but she didn't want to think about it right now. She just wanted to be as physically close to EJ as was humanly possible one last time before she told him the truth.

"I wonder where I should start?" pondered EJ, seeming to be talking to himself now.

He removed one hand from Sami's bottom and flicked her nipple hard, making Sami whimper – sharp sparks of pleasure shooting through her body and exploding in her core.

"It's obvious you have some specific needs right now," EJ said thoughtfully.

"Yes," said Sami eagerly and grimaced when EJ flicked her nipple again, almost cumming on the spot.

God but she wanted her teat in his mouth in the worst possible way. Sami could feel herself beginning to shake with her own arousal.

"But then so do I," commented EJ, sitting back in his seat and looking down at his lap.

The material of his dress pants had a huge bulge in the front of it and Sami couldn't take her eyes of it, licking her lips hungrily.

"Feel for yourself Samantha," he instructed her.

Sami didn't think twice about complying. She dropped to her knees in front of EJ and reached out a hand, cupping his bulging hard on concealed in his trousers. Sami couldn't help herself, squeezing and rubbing it hungrily, feeling EJ harden all the more because of it.

"So whose need is greater right now do you think eh?" EJ asked her with a half smile, watching her through hooded eyes as she fondled him.

"Mine," said Sami with a cheeky smile.

"Really?" challenged EJ.

"I need to cum so badly now EJ that I can't stand it," she confessed to him raggedly.

"You have such fierce sexual desires Samantha that you never seem to be satisfied," observed EJ, licking his lips again.

"Either do you," Sami challenged him defiantly.

"Some thirsts can never be quenched," EJ informed her a little mysteriously Sami thought, "But I wonder what would ultimately quench yours eh Samantha?"

_Your love_.

The words popped into Sami's head unbidden but she knew it was true. Ultimately the only thing that would satisfy here was knowing that EJ still loved her. She couldn't say that right now so instead she gave him a seductive smile.

"How about starting with what is in my hand?" Sami suggested throatily.

"We could do that," said EJ amicably enough, "Or we could call your lover up and get him to come over and we could tag team you all night and see if that satisfied the ravenous beast that is your libido eh Samantha?"

Sami gasped and snatched her hand away from EJ crotch, hardly able to believe what she'd just heard. The crassness of his last words were lost in the enormity of the overall statement. Sami stood up and stumbled away from EJ, looking at him in abject horror as he arched a cool eyebrow at her...


	7. Chapter 7

**AUTHOR'S NOTE****: **Just a quick head's up – this chapter is not for the faint hearted and won't to be everyone's taste but I truly believe it was something that had to happen between EJami – words and actions – to start tearing away the scar tissue that has built up around their relationship. You've been warned. :D

**Chapter SEVEN**

"Oh come now my dear," said EJ casually, standing up and ignoring the arousal of his own body, "Did you really think I didn't know?"

"E-EJ," Sami stammered in shock, clutching at the ends of her blouse and covering herself from his cold, angry gaze.

"Did you really think I didn't know that you were the one who shot me?" asked EJ, all softness leaving his face now as his expression became one of anger and bitterness.

Privilege

"I-I-"

Sami was shaking her head weakly and retreating as EJ advanced menacingly on her.

"And what a delight it was to wake up and be informed that you only managed this act of cold blooded attempted murder by somehow finding the strength to tear yourself away from your new fiancé screwing you senseless!"

EJ's bitter words hung between them and Sami couldn't find her voice to answer him.

"Apparently it was all you could do to find the time to dump our children off somewhere after possibly the most traumatic and confusing day of their young lives so you could throw yourself on your back for your FBI stud," EJ continued on, angry revulsion dripping from his every word, "Tell me Samantha did you even slow the car before pushing our babies out of the way to get to your gold ring that is Rafe eh? Did you even wait until they were out of the room before you began humping each other into next week?"

"STOP IT!" Sami screamed at him, unable to hear him talk like this any longer, "Stop saying those things EJ!"

The way he'd put it sounded so disgusting and debased and Sami had been deluding herself into thinking it was romantic at the time. With EJ's harsh description, all the internal dialogue in her head stripped away it sounded sordid and revolting what she'd done and Sami couldn't stand it.

"So when you went to see your lover today to get your fix," EJ continued on derisively, "Did you kiss him hello with the mouth that had my cock in it not half an hour before? When you're together do you tell him the many, many ways I've had you? Or are you whispering sweet lies into his ear as well that he is the only one who can get Samantha Brady on her back, legs wide open-"

SMMAAACCCCKKK!

Sami's hand connected with EJ's face so hard that the shock waves ran up Sami's arm and jarred her teeth. EJ's head snapped back from the force of her blow but he showed no pain as he turned back to look at her with furious, accusatory eyes.

"Don't you ever talk to me that way again EJ!" she commanded him shakily, still in shock at how quickly this was all unravelling.

"Why Samantha?" he sneered, "Because little princess Brady deserves so much better is that it? She can't be held accountable for her actions, God forbid! It's only I who gets to suffer time and time again by your hand isn't it? You get a free pass from all of your family and friends because I'm just a DiMera – I'm not even human so it doesn't count, IS THAT IT SAMANTHA?"

Sami had never seen EJ so angry before, not even after finding out about Grace but instead of being frightened of this huge man and what he was capable of something just snapped inside of her.

"YOU MADE ME THINK SYDNEY WAS DEAD!" Sami screamed the accusation at him, "YOU TOOK HER FROM ME, AFTER ALL THAT HAD HAPPENED AND WATCHED ME MOURN OUR CHILD ALL OVER AGAIN!"

Complete agony dripped off her every word as Sami at last gave proper voice to the pain he'd caused her. It wasn't just what EJ had done, it was how he'd enjoyed watching her suffer through the whole thing. After finding out that EJ had been behind Sydney's kidnapping that pain of that thought had been almost unbearable for Sami. That whole summer EJ had wooed and adored her like he'd never done before and Sami had wanted to fall for it so badly. In the end though she'd clung to her Rafe fantasy because he was predictable and safe and would never make Sami feel the things EJ could. It had devastated Sami to be shown in the end that her mistrust of EJ had been ultimately justified to her way of thinking.

"AS YOU DID TO ME WITH GRACE!" EJ roared back.

"You heartless bastard!" Sami yelled at him, tears running down her face now, "Letting a mother think her child was dead!"

"You soulless bitch!" EJ threw back at her through clenched teeth, "Putting a bullet in the brain of the father of two of your children and leaving him there to die!"

"It was the only way I could be free of you!" Sami blurted out frantically, not having really comprehended that until just that moment.

Sami took an unsteady step backwards.

"I was desperate to be free of you EJ," she said shakily, suddenly realising how true that was as she looked up at EJ wide eyed, "I couldn't do this anymore, I just couldn't."

"You're never going to be free of me Samantha," EJ vowed darkly, grabbing her by the arms and shaking her, "[i]_Never[/i]_ do you hear me?"

"Let me go!" Sami yelled, struggling against him.

"So you can run back to your lover?" asked EJ bitterly, throwing Sami roughly down on the bed, "Not going to happen sweetheart."

Sami bounced on the bed, not hurt by the force of EJ throwing her there but temporarily having the wind knocked out of her. Before she could recover EJ's body was on top of hers, pinning her down. Sami wiggled desperately under him, succeeding only in turning over so that she was face down on the bed, EJ on top of her. EJ's harsh uneven breath was in her ear now.

"You were screwing him while my heart lay shattered on the floor," ground out EJ bitterly.

Sami felt him beginning to tear at her clothes now, the thin material of her cotton skirt ripped noisily from her body and her panties were next.

"NO!" Sami screamed, struggling to be free of this wild beast she herself had unleashed, "Stop it EJ!" 

"I'm not going to stop Samantha," he told her, lips at her ear again, "Now it's my turn."

EJ flipped her over, roughly pulling her opened blouse and bra from her body. He kept her trapped on the bed with his upper body now as he divested himself of first his pants and then his shirt.

"Now it's Rafe's turn to sit in a dark room all alone and wonder what you are doing," said EJ, his jaw hard and unrelenting, face in hers as he settled his hard naked body on top of hers, "While I fuck you senseless."

Despite herself and the darkness of the situation Sami couldn't stop her body from pushing out copious amounts of sticky arousal from her core at that promise. EJ's hard on was pushing into her stomach, demanding its pound of flesh and the apex of Sami's thighs watered shamelessly wanting to give it to him. She tried to struggle against EJ again, needing to explain.

"I don't want-"

Sami had been going to say she didn't want Rafe anymore, never really had but EJ cut her off.

"I don't care what you want Samantha, not anymore!" he bit out, "It's my turn now – I get to call the shots and you're just going to take it!"

Sami's fighting spirit was unleashed at that. She went crazy underneath EJ, all the years of hurt and pain they'd caused each other just exploding out of Sami in a dervish of violence. She hit out, scratched and bit at any part of EJ she could find. Sami could taste blood but didn't know if it was hers on EJ's anymore. It seemed like she'd caught EJ off guard with the strength she had in her struggling because he had trouble subduing her initially despite his much greater size.

The whole time during this furious fight they were shouting accusations and bitter insults at each other until finally EJ's greater strength won out after a titanic struggle. In the end EJ had Sami pinned with most of his body, her arms stretched above her head and held by one of his hands to stop the scratching. EJ's other hand was around her neck, stopping Sami from lunging up and biting whatever piece of flesh of his she could find.

"STOP IT!" he ordered her thickly, his hand tightening around her neck as Sami's head still whipped around, trying to bite him.

EJ had scratches all over him, welts with thin streaks of blood and teeth marks on his neck, chest and arms. A thin streak of blood fell from one corner of his mouth where Sami had managed to head butt him at one stage. His face was flushed, muscles and veins bulging throughout his entire body at the effort of subduing her. Sami could feel how tightly EJ was gripping her neck, could feel the power in him as he tried to catch his breath, panting noisily.

"Stop it Samantha," said EJ again raggedly but Sami wasn't done yet.

Her sins were too great, there was too much she needed to atone for, with EJ, with her entire life. He was right, she had never really taken responsibility for anything in her life, always finding a way to blame others. The guilt of all that she'd done in her selfish life bore down on Sami and the pain was unbearable, too much to be endured.

"Do it," she pleaded with him around a sob, painful tears coming to her eyes, "Do it EJ – kill me."

EJ gave a rasping gasp of surprise at that.

"End it," Sami begged him with desperate eyes, "I can't live with this guilt, this pain is too much. Please EJ, kill me, just tighten your hand a little more and we'll both know peace."

Sami absolutely meant every word she was saying in that moment even as she watched EJ's eyes widen and his hand unconsciously tighten on her throat. There were so many emotions running across his face Sami couldn't decipher them all. She couldn't go on being with things as they were, with the burden of all that she'd done. To have a mirror held up to her and be forced to look at what she'd truly become, unable to hide behind justifications and people telling her what she wanted to hear. Sami was horrified by what she saw and didn't know how to live with it. EJ was her only hope at redemption because he was the one she'd sinned the most against but Sami knew now he could never forgive her so there was no hope. There was no point to life and everyone would be better off without her in it.

"Please, please EJ," Sami implored him raggedly, tears streaming down her face, "End my misery – just kill me and let it be over. You know I deserve this, you know I deserve to die-"

Sami's next words were cut off when EJ suddenly crushed her lips with his, refusing to let her say another word. Sami groaned into the kiss, unable to believe at long last EJ was giving her what she'd hungered for so badly. She returned the kiss with every fibre of her being and EJ was remorseless, assaulting her mouth with his. EJ's kisses tasted of anguish and remorse and a deep and abiding hunger. But what Sami could taste the most in EJ's kisses was his love... her redemption. Sami gave a sob of gratitude but EJ was already rolling them over, refusing to release her mouth as he did.

Sami felt his hands go to her hips, making her straddle him and then he raised her hips up again and brought her down hard on his straining erection. She whimpered at the force of their coupling but accepted it, lost in EJ's kisses. EJ wasn't moving his body, instead he was driving hers up and down on his eager hard on. Sami's arms were wrapped around EJ's head, letting him have her body if she could have his mouth. She was in heaven, intoxicated by the sweetness of EJ's mouth and unable to get enough.

EJ sat them up so they were face to face on the bed, her legs around his thighs. She felt EJ's hands go to her backside and tilt it, changing the angle of penetration for Sami. She screamed and threw back her head in delight as he hit that secret spot inside of her with his actions.

"Oh god," Sami moaned powerlessly.

"Beg for it harder," EJ ordered her roughly, his own arousal so obvious in his voice right then.

"Please EJ!" Sami sobbed, not thinking twice about complying, "Harder, do it harder."

"Like this?" EJ grunted, driving himself forcefully up into Sami and making her cry out again, fingernails digging into his back as she clung to him helplessly.

"Oh yes, yes, yessss!" said Sami weakly, as he hammered her mercilessly.

Suddenly she felt rough tugging at one of her nipples and looked down to see EJ's dark head latched onto one of her breasts. He tore himself away and looked up at Sami possessively.

"Was his mouth suckling this teat?" growled EJ, his face darkening with anger, "Did you let another man have these breasts Samantha?"

"No," said Sami breathlessly, thrilling to the jealousy she could hear in his voice, "No EJ."

Suddenly Sami was on her back, EJ throwing her down on the bed, him on top with his cock impaling her to the spot.

"I don't believe you!" EJ grunted and he looked like a wild animal intent on claiming what was his, marking his territory.

"It's true EJ," Sami panted, "It was me, I swear to you."

EJ's dark gaze studied her face intently, his manhood still inside her for the moment.

"Do you know what I'd do if I ever found another man had his mouth on your breasts Samantha?" asked EJ, his voice thick with jealousy.

"It doesn't matter," said Sami frantically, "No man will ever touch me again EJ – only you, only ever you."

EJ's eyes flared with male pride at her promise and emitted a growl from deep inside of him.

"That's right Samantha," he purred, "And I'm going to make sure you remember that."

EJ sat up, sitting back on his heels, Sami stared up at him in breathless anticipation of how he was going to go about reminding her of her promise. He took Sami's legs and rested them against his chest so that her ankles were up near his shoulders. Sami's backside was between EJ's thighs, allowing him easy access when it came to penetrating her. Basically Sami was at his mercy and couldn't wait for more. EJ moved her back on the bed so that Sami's head now hung over the edge of the bed. It made her curve her back and thrust her breasts up high into the air.

"Grab them," EJ instructed her thickly.

Sami's hands went to her breasts and cupped them.

"No," said EJ shortly, "You nipples, squeeze them Samantha, between your thumb and finger, as hard as you can."

Sami complied, grimacing a little at the pain.

"Harder," EJ ordered her, "Harder Samantha – you don't want me to do it."

Sami groaned and did as EJ had commanded. She squeezed her nipples so hard that all the blood went out of them and they went pale.

"Does that hurt sweetheart?" asked EJ and there was definite excitement in his voice at seeing her torture her body for him.

"Yes," Sami whimpered but it was the sweetest pain ever.

It was like her nipples had a bundle of nerve endings that ran directly to Sami's core and they were on fire, screaming out their delight.

"Now hold on tight," EJ grunted, "My cock needs to fuck you hard and you're not to let go of them – you have to take your punishment like the bad girl you are."

"Yes," said Sami with an eager nod of her head, desperate for EJ to start giving her what she needed.

True to her word Sami clamped on so tightly to her own nipples as EJ pounded her hard that the muscles in her hands began to ache. She didn't care though, EJ was taking her like a man possessed and she knew all the emotion of what had just played out between them was threatening to overwhelm him to.

"Oh god but I love you!" Sami moaned almost hysterically as EJ drove her to ever greater heights.

"Again!" EJ gasped around his panting grunts, not relenting for a second with what he was doing to her body, "Say it again!"

"I love you EJ!" Sami groaned without hesitation, her long hair flowing over the side of the bed, "I love you, I love you, I love you!"

Hanging her head upside down like this was making Sami dizzy and it didn't help that she couldn't catch her breath because of her mad panting.

"More, louder!" EJ ordered her, obviously ravenous for more of Sami's declarations and she could only oblige.

In the end Sami was screaming out her love, over and over again right up until that final moment when her body began a violent series of convulsion and then she could only scream. EJ quickly followed and she felt him unload his burning seed into her, his hips thrusting hard into her, eager to deliver its load.

"Samantha!" EJ choked out, shuddering helplessly against her as a very powerful release obviously took hold of him.

Through it all Sami somehow managed to keep a death grip on her nipples as EJ had told her to do. A sweaty and panting EJ looked down at her as he let her legs drop to the bed and gave a satisfied smile at seeing her compliance.

"I like a girl who does as she's told," he said hoarsely.

"Please EJ," Sami begged him desperately, "Can I let go now?"

EJ pushed Sami's legs wide apart and Sami could still feel how hard EJ's manhood was inside of her with the action.

"When I say now you can," agreed EJ, a gleam in his eyes.

Sami knew it was going to hurt like hell as the blood rushed back in back didn't care.

"Now!"

On his command Sami let go and bucked up at the painful sensation but at the same time EJ began to frantically rub her clit, forcing another climax from her body. EJ gave his own howl of satisfaction as her convulsing walls milked the last of his seed from his cock. At last seemingly contented with what he'd gotten from her body EJ pulled out, collapsing beside the still quietly moaning Sami. The two lovers lay like that for a long moment, neither speaking.

For Sami it was like all the anger, bitterness and hurt had been flushed away in a cathartic coming together of angry words and accusations. Sami felt completely spent and a strange calm settled over her entire being. EJ had kissed her. He'd kissed her with every part of his soul and Sami had tasted his love and devotion in those kisses. It had been so liberating to scream out her love for EJ over and over again and Sami felt reborn.

EJ hadn't said he'd loved her yet but now Sami knew that he did and always had. She turned her head and looked over at him, taking in his sweat covered body and heaving chest that bore the many scratches and most likely bruises that her own body would be showing soon enough. An arm was slung over his face as he fought to recover his breath.

This was it, Sami knew it, this was their new beginning. Everything was out in the open between them now and at long last they could start their lives, no more secrets between them. Sami's heart thrilled at that thought, the thought of them being a real family. It was all she'd ever really wanted and now Sami knew that it was only EJ who could give it to her – it had always only ever been EJ. Sami put out a tentative hand on EJ's sweat slick chest, needing to hear those words from him now more than ever.

"EJ?" she said quietly, her voice still hoarse from their vocal and violent love making.

EJ jerked away from her touch, rolling off the bed and didn't look at Sami. Instead he pulled on a pair of black jeans and headed out of the bedroom without a backwards look at a shocked Sami.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter EIGHT**

Sami walked into the living room, tying her wrap as she did, not bothering with any other kind of clothing. EJ was standing at the liquor tray, pouring himself a drink. He turned and looked at her as Sami walked in and took a sip of his drink. EJ winced a little as the alcohol connected with the cut in his mouth Sami's head butt had given him.

"What's the matter EJ?" Sami teased him, feeling like a new woman now, the burden of her guilty secret gone, "I thought you liked how I gave you head."

"Amusing," commented EJ, his expression giving nothing away as he sipped at his drink again.

"Why did you leave?" Sami asked, advancing into the room.

"Samantha Brady," said EJ with a wry shake of his head, "She always love the chase doesn't she?"

"Meaning?" asked Sami with an arched eyebrow.

"Meaning you're not interested in men who want to give you everything," said EJ with a cool shrug, "Only in those who withhold."

"That's not true EJ," protested Sami with a bit of a frown.

"For four years I did little else than declare my undying and passionate love for you Samantha," EJ said flatly, "I turned my back on my father for your love, I sacrificed everything but you always looked at me like something you stepped in coming out of a toilet. No, you only wanted the men who didn't want you, threw you out the door first excuse they got. Those were the ones you chased down with the vengeance of a woman scorned. I however languished, the one who truly loved and wanted you, just as you were – an object of your derision and dismissal."

EJ took another sip of his drink, giving Sami a considered look over the top of his glass.

"Now however that I no longer chase after you it seems everything has changed," EJ pondered, "You can't get enough of me Samantha. It must be a singularly perverse experience living in your head."

"Is that why you haven't told me you love me yet?" Sami asked, the penny at last dropping, "If you do you think I'll stop being interested again – is that it EJ?"

It all finally made sense and relief flooded Sami and filled her with a new found confidence that there was light yet at the end of this dark tunnel.

"That question is a moot one sweetheart because I don't love you anymore," said EJ simply, "Every man has their limits and being on the wrong end of a bullet would appear to be mine. I should thank you I suppose Samantha – the author of my demise has also turned out to be the architect of my salvation. You destroyed me with your indifference but in your vengeance I am reborn – a new man, a man that no longer loves you in any way."

EJ's words were meant to inflict pain but Sami was onto his game now. She couldn't shy away from this dark creature in front of her because she was the one who had created this coldly indifferent face EJ was presenting to her. Sami now knew what she had to do now – she had to save EJ from what he'd become by her own cruel actions. Knowing EJ still loved her despite his protestations right now to the contrary had delivered Sami from the hell she hadn't even known she was in. Now it was EJ's turn. What was the point of redemption if it couldn't lead to actions.

"Pretty speech," she commented coolly, "But you still love me EJ, I know you do."

"My but aren't we self involved all of a sudden," commented EJ coolly, "It was barely twenty minutes ago you were begging me to kill you because you couldn't live with what you'd done."

"And you didn't do it," said Sami triumphantly, "Because you love me EJ, you know it and I know it."

"Yes I couldn't murder the mother of my children with my bare hands," said EJ mockingly, "I've heard that is the traditional sign of true love."

Sami shook her head and smiled.

"You kissed me instead and in that kiss you saved me because I knew then that you'd forgiven me and still loved me," Sami told him determinedly.

"I kissed you to shut you up," said EJ darkly.

"Liar," said Sami with a half smile.

Suddenly Sami could see through this act of EJ's like it was made of glass. He was doing what he thought he needed to do to keep her with him and protect himself at the same time. Her poor, magnificent EJ – how could she have done this to him and cared so little about it at the time.

"You're just annoyed because you moved into this house and my bed thinking you were playing me only to find I was playing you all along Samantha. Now you're trying to get the upper hand again by sprouting nonsense and inventing your own little realities like you always do."

EJ's tone was dismissive but Sami wasn't fazed.

"I'm not giving up EJ," said Sami stubbornly, "You love me more than any other woman you've ever known and one day you're going to admit that and I'm going to be right by your side when you do."

"Well good luck with that sweetheart," said EJ coolly, raising his glass to her mockingly, "You'll have to let me know how it turns out."

"I'm not buying this act of indifference EJ," said Sami defiantly, "We made love just then, it wasn't just sex. You told me everything I needed to know right there and then. You love me as much as I love you EJ – just admit it!"

"I seem to recall saying almost the exact same thing to you the night we conceived Sydney," said EJ, his lips tightening angrily, "And look how well that turned out eh sweetheart? You couldn't wait to leap out of bed and chase after that loser of an ex of yours. I see no reason why this should be any different. You're a fickle woman Samantha and you always want what you can't have – it's the only way you know how to operate."

"Maybe I've never really known what I've wanted before now?" Sami challenged him, "I love you EJ and that isn't going to change and I know you love me too – you always have."

"I did love you Samantha," agreed EJ readily, his eyes dark and stormy, "And I did everything I knew how to prove that love to you and you spurned me at every turn. It's amazing what clarity a bullet to the brain brings you though. I woke up and realised you simply weren't worth it and never were."

"You're just saying that to hurt me," said Sami, her chin coming up and not backing down from his hurtful words, "I don't believe you EJ."

"Do you know what I believe Samantha?" asked EJ tersely, slamming down his drink and advancing on her now, "I believe that you will marry me in a civil ceremony tomorrow and will legally become my wife. And in exchange for my silence over your part in the homicidal tendencies in our little lovers tiff you'll go along with it. Furthermore you will then give me your body whenever and however I want it without question and beg me for more of the same when I'm done with you. If you so much as ever mention Rafe in my presence I will have him killed, without hesitation. Do we understand one another sweetheart?"

Sami swallowed hard at that, excited despite herself at the proprietary demands he was making of her. EJ may claim he didn't love her but his jealous possessiveness told Sami a different story. He meant to make her sound like a possession, something he could own. EJ didn't think she would stay with him if he gave her options and it was clear he didn't want to lose her but wouldn't admit to why. Sami had expected this – EJ was pushing back, trying to reclaim his control of the situation but the truth was things had only been as they had been because Sami was so confused. Sami wasn't confused anymore and she was going to prove it to EJ, no matter how long it took. EJ however seemed intent on trying to prove his own point.

"I may no longer love you Samantha but you're mine," said EJ aggressively, "And I won't share my toys with anyone – do you understand me? Your body belongs to me now – no other."

"I understand that you wouldn't be so jealous of other men if you didn't love me so much," said Sami defiantly.

"I just feel like I have an investment in you and I'm due a few more years of pay out," said EJ with a sweet smile.

"You think being like this is going to scare me off don't you?" Sami challenged him, "But it won't work, I love you EJ and I'm here to stay."

"Until the next shiny thing catches your eye," EJ snorted in derision, "Thank you for your proclamations of undying love sweetheart but I think I'll stick with holding you attempting to kill me over your head until I'm bored with you rather than place any stock in them."

"I'll walk into the police station right now and confess if it will help me prove to you that me being here has nothing to do with that."

Sami threw out the challenge to him.

"Ah a classic Samantha Brady move," said EJ derisively as he topped up his drink and added more ice, "The bluff."

"So call me on it," Sami said with a shrug.

"You're no good to me in jail Samantha," EJ dismissed the idea.

"So you want your pound of flesh is that right EJ?" asked Sami with an arched eyebrow.

"One way of putting it I guess," said EJ with a cold smile as he leant against the desk top and sipped his drink.

"I can live with that," said Sami, just as coolly as she sauntered over to, "It's not like I don't get something out of it as well."

"Multiple orgasms?" suggested EJ mockingly.

"Exactly," Sami nodded, nudging EJ's legs apart as he leant on the desk and coming to stand between them, "After all, that's all you've determined there is going to be between us."

"Quite right," said EJ and tried to sound off hand but Sami detected a slight hoarseness in his voice suddenly.

EJ wasn't as cool and detached from this conversation as he was trying to make out. Battle lines were drawn, neither one was backing down.

"So why don't you take what is yours then?" she suggested with an inviting little smile.

Before Sami had wanted EJ endlessly and was eager to give herself to him over and over again but hadn't really understood why, only that she had a desperate need for him. Now she understood everything. EJ had settled thinking that all he could hope for was her body. Sami had done exactly as EJ had said – given herself permission to taste the forbidden fruit and avoid any responsibility for it. But that taste had quickly become not enough for Sami and so she'd had to face her demons and except all that she had done and her part in her own unhappiness and EJ's.

She was free but EJ was still trapped in the cage she'd made for him. EJ wasn't just getting her body anymore, he was getting her heart, mind and soul as well and Sami knew his defences wouldn't last long against that. EJ had made her understand at last by withholding himself from him. His hurt, his pain and rejection and her own ugliness. Now Sami was going to make EJ understand by doing the complete opposite – giving over every part of herself to him freely and without conditions.

Opposite sides of the same coin – just like it had always been for them.

"Why don't I?" asked EJ, playing it cool for all he was worth.

He ran a finger down the satin material of her wrap, fingernail scratching against one nipple. It hardened into a painful nub obediently.

"Sore?" he queried, "From my lesson?"

"Yes," said Sami, steadily holding his gaze, "But nothing I can't handle."

"Do you think I feel badly about making you do that?" asked EJ, playing the game to perfection, "Because I don't."

"I wouldn't care if you did because I loved it," said Sami with a vixen's smile, "I think we should add it to our repertoire."

"I'll consider it," said EJ, still trying to play the angle that he was in control but that horse had well and truly bolted now.

Sami had only let EJ be in control before now because she hadn't wanted to take any responsibility for her own actions, too frightened of consequences and what it would mean for her. Those days were over and Sami wanted back into the game. EJ didn't stand a chance. EJ however seemed blissfully unaware of that fact as he fished out an ice cube from his drink. He held it to the pink satin covering Sami's left nipple, rubbing it back and forth. Sami hissed at the sharp pain but it immediately felt so good that she didn't care.

"Nice," Sami sighed happily, moving a little closer now.

EJ didn't answer, instead treated her other nipple to the same attention once that ice cube had melt. Sami moved even closer, putting her hands on his naked, muscled chest when EJ went to retrieve another ice cube. He slipped his hand under Sami's wrap, finding her clit and rubbing the ice against it. Sami groaned and dropped her head onto his shoulder. EJ withdrew the cube and held it to Sami's lips now and Sami took it into her mouth, tasting her own arousal on the icy treat.

"Taste good?" EJ asked with an arched eyebrow.

Sami knew what EJ was trying to do. He was trying to hide behind sex like they'd both been doing this last month. But everything was different now.

"You tell me," said Sami huskily as she claimed his mouth and let EJ taste for himself.

EJ had opened this door of allowing kisses between them at long last and Sami was going to make damn sure it wasn't closed again. She grabbed EJ's head in her hands, deepening the kiss as EJ found another ice cube and this time inserted it into her core. Sami's toes curled at the sensation and moaned her appreciation to EJ into their kiss. She didn't care what EJ said, his kisses told Sami the truth. The way EJ's tongue played with hers, the way he moved his mouth against hers as though he was savouring every flavour she had to offer – the was nothing but love and adoration in his kisses.

Without the kissing Sami knew normally this would have progressed pretty quickly to actual sex but EJ had seemed to have forgotten himself, as lost in her as she was in him. Sami turned more fully into his arms, wrapping her arms around EJ's neck even as she felt the cold melted water from his ice cube trickle down her inner thighs.

EJ was in no hurry to move to the next stage, seemingly having missed this simple intimacy as much as she had. His walls were crumbling already. Finally the kiss ended but only so EJ could press kisses along her neck. Sami stroked his face lovingly, tilting her head to one side to grant him better access. After the explosiveness of their last union this felt unbearably gentle and yes, loving.

Sami's eye was caught by the scar in EJ's hairline, evidence of what she'd one to him. Her heart tightened painfully at the sight of the wound, hardly able to understand the woman she'd been to do such a thing. It didn't even seem like it could have really happened but that scar wouldn't let her forget. Sami reached out and touched the roughened skin tenderly; regret all but choking her completely. EJ reacted like she'd scalded him though with her light touch – pushing her away from him hard.

"EJ!" Sami gasped in surprise at his violent reaction.

"I'm not in the mood!" he said harshly, his voice choked with emotion he clearly didn't want Sami to see.

EJ just stalked out of the room then, heading back upstairs and away from her. Sami grimaced to see him react in such a way but she couldn't blame him. For so long EJ had been obviously angry with her about the shooting, rightly so and he'd hidden behind that. Sami with her confession and remorse had stolen some of that anger from him and now EJ's shield against his real emotions about her was no longer properly intact.

She'd shot him – they'd dealt with the initial fallout from that but how could Sami blame EJ from still being traumatised by it? Of course she couldn't – she'd tried to kill the man, the woman he'd wanted to marry, the woman he'd opened his heart to yet again only to have it scorned. Sami considered going after him again but decided to give EJ his space. Sami was at a loose end now, not sure what she should do next. She decided a swim might help her fill some time in until EJ was ready to talk again.

Sami headed to the indoor pool, a small smile coming to her lips as the door slammed shut behind her at the many interludes she and EJ had shared in this room. How much sweeter they were going to be when they were at last both being truly honest with one another and themselves again. Her children were going to grow up in a household with parents who loved not only them but each other.

If they could weather the storm of the last four years Sami knew she and EJ could face anything. Sami had so nearly destroyed everything with her fear and running from the truth but now her and EJ's happily ever after was in sight. All Sami had to do was prove her love and consistency to EJ and she didn't care how long it took to do just that. Whatever he needed from her to get over this Sami was going to give, she owed EJ nothing less.

Sami headed towards the pool, fully intending on skinny dipping. She and EJ were home alone anyways and if EJ came to seek her out then all the better. Sami stood on the edge of the pool and dipped a toe in, enjoying the water's warmth. She turned back around, intending on taking off her wrap and leaving it over the nearby pool chair but inadvertently stepped in a patch of water. The pool tile was slippery and her foot shot out from underneath her.

Sami fell heavily, hitting her head on the pool edge and was instantly knocked out. Her head was hanging over the side of the pool, bright red droplets of blood coming from her mouth and dispersing in the water below. She slipped a little closer to the water line, her body oddly angled and in danger of tipping over into the pool completely as her blonde hair dangled in the water now but Sami only knew darkness...


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter NINE**

"Samantha?"

EJ walked into the kitchen and looked around, still unable to find her. He'd been looking for about five minutes now and she wasn't anywhere to be found. An hour had passed since what had happened in the living room and EJ knew that Sami hadn't left the mansion. For one thing she wasn't dress and for another her car was still here. EJ frowned, trying to think where she might be. He shoved his hands into his low slung black jeans, still all he was wearing and thought for a moment. There was one place in the vast house he hadn't checked yet and EJ turned around and headed out of the kitchen and towards the indoor pool.

When he got there he looked through the glass window on the door and was stricken by what he saw. Sami was lying face down by the pool and EJ couldn't see her head because it was hanging over the side of the pool. One arm was in the water as well and EJ could only pray her head was above water but from where he was standing it really didn't look like it.

"SAMANTHA!" he cried out in horror, his hand immediately going to the door knob.

It was locked. EJ frantically rattled the door handle, panic setting in as he tried to get to her.

"SAMANTHA!"

EJ's voice was taunt with abject fear as he watched Sami's body slowly begin to slide into the water now.

"NO!"

EJ began hurling himself against the door, using his shoulder to try and bust the hinges. The door bent but didn't give. Again and again EJ bashed against it, growing ever more frantic as he could no longer see Sami. The door gave way at last and EJ just ran. He got to the pool and didn't even slow down, diving into the water at full pelt and down to Sami's body which was now face down on the bottom of the pool. He grabbed her body and swum to the surface in a series of powerful strokes with Sami in his arms. They broke the surface as one but Sami wasn't moving and EJ's fear grew. He swam over to the side of the pool and hauled Sami's body out of the water and then his own.

An ugly purple bruise coloured her jaw line whilst the rest of her face was pale. EJ put an ear to her mouth listening for Sami's breathing but his own was too ragged for him to hear anything. He gave a choked sob, gathering Sami into his arms, his whole body shaking as he realised he should have come looking for her an hour ago. EJ was paralysed with fear, he couldn't move other than rock Sami in his arms, he couldn't think beyond the words that were tumbling out of his mouth.

"Oh God no, please no!" he sobbed, holding Sami's limp body to his tightly as tears streamed down his face, "Not like this. Please God no, don't take her from me. I can't live without her, I'll do anything. Samantha don't leave me, don't ever leave me, I love you, I love you so much!"

Sami eyes opened and she looked directly into EJ's tear stained ones unblinkingly.

"I know," she said quietly, "I know EJ."

EJ gave a ragged gasp of shock and Sami watched first relief and then horror cross over his face. He dropped her from his arms and recoiled from Sami, shuffling backwards until his back hit the wall and holding up his hands like she was the devil incarnate.

"What are you doing?" he rasped in anguish, "What are you doing to me Samantha? Why didn't you just kill me when you had the chance – why do you only know how to torture me?"

Sami drew in a pained breath and sat up as she looked at the broken man huddled up against the wall, screaming out his anguish and knew this was her one and only chance to make this right, to fix what she'd broken.

Sami had come to a minute or so after she'd slipped but hadn't moved from where she was lying. Instead Sami had just laid there and thought about so many things. It hit her how close she'd come to losing her life just then. If she'd fallen just a little differently she would have been in the water and most likely drowned by now. Her life would be over and the only thing to show for it was a seemingly never ending trail of pain and destruction.

Sami thought back to that moment in the bedroom with EJ when all of her guilt and remorse had crushed in on her and the way she'd begged him to kill her because she couldn't stand living with those feelings. Sami lay there quietly thinking about that, the pool pump providing a gentle hum in the way of background noise for her self-examinations. Why had she done that? Sami didn't really want to die, the flash of fear she'd experienced when she'd woken up and realised how close she'd come to death just now proved that. She thought of being on death row and how life had been so blindingly precious when it was all about to be taken away from her with a flick of a switch. Sami remembered the moment the lethal injection was delivered to her, remembered her screaming to be given another chance at life.

And what had she'd done with that second chance at life she'd been granted Sami pondered darkly? Run from it was the only answer she could come up with. After seeing the pain she'd caused EJ with the way she'd treated him and discarded him over the years Sami first response was to inflict more on him by asking him to kill her. Why would she do that? Why would she feel remorse for something she had done and then proceed to do more of the same?

The question plagued Sami as she lay there, trying to unravel all the things she'd avoided looking at her entire life. She'd thought of her own pain first, not EJ's. Her supposed atonement for her sins in asking for death wasn't that at all – it was her trying to stop her own pain. The only way she could have atonement was to stop EJ's pain and instead she'd just provided him with more. A tear slipped out of Sami's eye and down her cheek to mingle with the little pool of blood on the ground by her mouth but didn't care.

Why couldn't she think of EJ first?

What had stopped her all of this time?

Was she really just a selfish person and that was the end of it or was it something more?

Sami closed her eyes, feeling the almost overwhelming urge to not find an answer for that question. But then that was the story of her life wasn't it? She never wanted to take responsibility for anything and especially not for EJ. Sami forced herself to relive those moments when she walked into EJ's room that fateful night and found him in obvious despair. All Sami had seen though was her own pain and betrayal and the gun had been in her hand before she realised it.

Sami had shot him, just like that.

It wasn't in the heat of passion or an accident, she'd just picked up a gun and shot a sleeping vulnerable man in the head and walked away leaving him to die. Sami gave a choked sob as she forced herself to accept that moment with no excuses and experience it fully. The pain was excruciating to think she could have done that to another human being, no matter the provocation and in such a cold blooded fashion. Then to have that person be the father of two of her children, it was nothing short of a monstrous act.

Of course she'd run back to Rafe and lapped up every moment of him sprouting that EJ had gotten what he deserved. Sami needed his rhetoric to hide behind, to reassure herself she was the victim in all of this. But then EJ hadn't died and she was back in this house with him and there was no one to champion the fantasies Sami had in her head. Sami had been left with no mantra to cling to – only the consequences of her actions.

And Sami had fallen and fallen hard out of the fantasy world she'd made for herself.

What had happened in the bedroom between her and EJ had opened Sami's eyes to the pain she'd caused him but not the reason why it was so easy for her to cause that pain. With being presented with EJ's anger and betrayal she immediately threw back her own in his face. When shown his brokenness and pain Sami's immediate response was to find relief from her own. Always it came back to her, never EJ – why was that?

Walking out of that bedroom just before Sami had thought that all she needed to do was show EJ how sorry she was, how much she loved him and then get him to admit his own love and that he forgave her and then everything would be fine between them – they could move on from there. Lying there on that cold pool floor though had made her realise that if she couldn't find an answer to why it was so easy for her to dismiss EJ in the past then they'd never have any kind of future. She'd never done to anyone the kinds of heinous things she'd done to EJ and through it all he still maintained his love for her.

Why, why, why?

The question plagued Sami, never before having gone this deeply into their relationship or even her own psyche, frightened of what she'd find there. But running away had only ruined her life so far and Sami wanted more from that life then lurching from one disaster to another and the reality was she was the disaster, not the events around her. Nothing was ever going to change if she didn't change and understand herself better. Sami thought back on her first meeting with EJ, how attracted she'd been to him and then to find out he was a DiMera, how that had felt. Then the games had started between them, spiralling down into ever greater depths until they were at the level of hell they found themselves in now.

What was it about EJ that caused almost a pathological need in Sami to try and tear down, dismiss and protect herself against every chance she got and yet still find herself drawn to him over and over again?

The answer finally came to Sami in a rush of pain so great it actually made her moan aloud.

Sami had told EJ that she'd shot him because it was the only way to be free of him but that was only the tip of the ice berg. The real question was why did Sami feel the need to be free of EJ in the first place when all he wanted to do was give her his heart? Sami finally had an answer to the question she'd never been honest about before this moment. She'd told herself that is was because he was a DiMera but that wasn't it at all.

EJ was Sami.

The revelation had hit her like a thunderbolt. EJ was all the parts of Sami that she feared – the greyness, the recklessness and huge emotion. These were all the things Sami had instinctively concluded that she needed to purge from herself in order to find her happily ever after with the men she thought she should love, the men who were going to save her. Sami couldn't accept any of EJ's love because it meant accepting those dark places in her own soul and she simply refused to do that.

The thing was though in trying to cleanse herself of the darker aspects of herself by denying EJ over and over again Sami was losing more than she could ever have imagined. She was losing her passion, her spark and that flame inside of her that had once burned so brightly. Instead all that had been left of her was a shell of a person, lost and ultimately completely alone and being unable to feel deep compassion and sympathy for another soul, only her own pain. In that last dramatic act of shooting EJ she hadn't been punishing him for taking Sydney. No, it was for being a constant reminder of all that she was and all that she'd lost. Sami hadn't shot EJ that night, she'd shot herself.

That was how she knew the truth in EJ's kisses because they truly were halves of the same whole. It was her innate comprehension of EJ on first meeting him that had her running from him, not her lack of understanding of him. Deep down she understood every move he made, every act of retribution and declaration of love. When she'd first met EJ it was to discover he was the person she was too afraid to be. Now, after years of dedicated attempts to tear that man down she'd at last broken him.

Sami had stripped EJ of his fire, spirit and clarity of vision just as she'd regained her own. It was EJ who was running now, hiding from the truth and Sami who was facing it down squarely. The coin had flipped and they were on different sides now but they were still part of the same whole. It was how Sami knew what she had to do to fix this when she heard EJ at the pool room door. Now EJ was staring at her in wide eyed horror, shaken and destroyed but this time the pain she'd caused him was done in love, not fear.

"It's alright EJ," she said, crawling over to him and putting a hand out to him, "It's going to be alright."

"You're the devil," said EJ thickly, his face tight with his own pain as he shook violently, "You keep finding new ways to torture me! Please God, just stop Samantha, I can't bear it any longer!"

"I didn't do that to torture you EJ," said Sami desperately, "I did it so you'd admit the truth to yourself."

"Why do you hate me so?" asked EJ weakly, not even looking at her now, shaking his head and lost in an ocean of pain.

"I don't hate you EJ," said Sami, edging closer to the cowering man now, "I love you. I have no way of expecting you to believe that after all that I've put you through but it is the truth. I needed you to be honest with your feelings about me-"

"So you can throw them back in my face?" EJ asked her, his face darkening and twisting in pain.

"No," said Sami softly, moving closer again, "EJ I've run from my feelings for you, for myself for so long and all it caused us both was suffering in pain. If I could take it all back I would, in a heartbeat but I can't."

"I want you out of this house," said EJ numbly, still not looking at her, "I never want to see you again Samantha."

It hurt Sami to hear him say that but it hurt her even more that she'd broken this once fearless man down to such a state.

"You want me to love you like you love me," Sami corrected him, by his side now, facing him as EJ still leant back into the wall, trying to escape her but there was nowhere to go, "And I do. You stood in the Brady pub once and told me that you loved me and just wanted me to give you the chance to prove it to you but I never gave you that chance."

A regret filled tear slipped down Sami's cheek at that memory.

"I so badly what that moment back EJ," she said hoarsely, "To do it all again differently but I can't. All I can do now is tell you how sorry I am for all that I've done to cause you pain and suffering and make the same plea of you that you once made of me and pray that you'll be kinder to me than I've ever been to you EJ."

Sami drew in a ragged breath and swallowed hard, more tears falling from her eyes as she watched the same happen to EJ.

"I love you," Sami said, putting every bit of love she had for him in those three words, "And I just want you to give me the chance to prove that to you-"

Sami knew this part was going to be the hardest for EJ to hear but couldn't stop now.

"I've taken so much from you EJ," said Sami quietly, reaching up and putting a hand to his cheek and stroking it.

EJ flinched but Sami continued to caress his face tenderly.

"But now I want to give something back to you," she continued on huskily.

Sami drew in a deep breath, cupping his face that had the look of a cornered, frightened animal to it.

"You have to forgive me EJ," Sami whispered, more tears stinging her eyes, "For the shooting, for all the times I've hurt you and broken you're heart, you have to forgive me."

EJ made a pain noise and shook his head, unable to find words right then but Sami wouldn't let him run away.

"Not because I deserve it," said Sami achingly, "Because I don't and never will but because it is what you deserve."

EJ looked at her, suffering and confusion etched onto his handsome face.

"All this time EJ," Sami admitted to him painfully, fighting back more tears, "All this time I couldn't forgive you for reminding me of who I really am, what I really am. You were a mirror that I couldn't bear to look in and I couldn't forgive you for that. So I hurt you and then you did something dark and terrible by letting me think Sydney was dead-"

Sami closed her eyes and shook her head.

"And-and I couldn't forgive you for that so I did something even darker and more terrible to you," Sami choked out before opening her eyes and imploring him, "And if you don't find a way to forgive me EJ then you'll do something even worse again."

EJ drew back, recoiling from all that Sami was saying but she was determined. She reached out and put her hand to the back of EJ's neck, drawing him down so their foreheads were touching.

"You have to let me save you EJ," she begged him in little more than a desperate whisper, watching as hot tears streaked down his face, "I'm the one who did this to you, I'm the only one who can save you from it."

"I can't."

EJ had forced the wretched words out through shaking lips.

"I know it's hard my love," Sami said quietly, her own lips quivering as she stroked the back of his head, "But you have to find away otherwise it will destroy you and I don't want to live in a world without you in it."

Their eyes met, hers pleading and full of compassion, his full of fear, both of them crying hard now.

"I can't let you hurt me again," said EJ thickly, desperation making him honest at long last.

"I'm not going to hurt you EJ," Sami vowed to him, fierce determination coming to her face, "I'm going to love you like you deserve to be loved – with every part of my heart and soul and body."

Sami started to gently kiss EJ's tears away now.

"Forgive me," she implored him brokenly, "Forgive me EJ even though I don't deserve."

More soft lingering kisses to his face as EJ closed his eyes and gave a low groan.

"Forgive me so I can save you," she whispered, "I can take all this pain away EJ, I know I can."

EJ's hands had been by his side, not touching her in any way during all of this, instead he'd been more like a rag doll lying there. Sami moved so that she was straddling him now as he sat up against the wall, taking EJ's face in both of her hands and continuing her loving kisses all over his face.

"I love you," she whispered against his lips.

"I thought you were dead," said EJ raggedly, pain dripping from every word.

"I know EJ," said Sami compassionately, "I know."

Sami had only ever really dared been honest with herself when there had been a real chance of losing EJ. Sami knew EJ had needed the same push because she'd turned him into her with the way she'd treated him. She'd hated causing EJ more pain but it was the only way to save him.

"But I had to save you EJ," Sami implored his understanding, kissing him softly now, mouth teasing back and forth against his, "I need you to believe that."

"It hurts so much," EJ groaned even as he slowly began to return her kisses.

Sami gave a little sob against his mouth and knew she was the agony EJ was talking about.

"But I can take it all away," Sami promised him, stroking the back of his head, "Let me take it all away EJ."

They started kissing properly now, EJ's tongue suddenly in Sami's mouth and she let him take what he needed from her. Despite of all the emotion between them or maybe because of it Sami could feel EJ hardening underneath her and felt her body answer his need. Still kissing Sami reached between their bodies, undoing EJ's zip and releasing his hard on. Seeing as she was only wearing her wrap still, soaking wet as it was, it was easy for Sami to simply lift herself up slowly impale herself on EJ's swollen rod. EJ broke the kiss, grimacing in pleasure. Sami began a very gentle rocking process, designed now not so much to excite as to make each other sharply aware of the other and to soothe.

EJ's hands went to her hips as Sami wrapped her arms around his neck and began to whisper all the secrets of her soul into his ear. She told him of her epiphanies, about her reasons for treating the way she had all of this time, her shame, her remorse, the anguish over what she'd done to him. Sami whispered her pleas for forgiveness in his ear for shooting him, for trying to extinguish EJ's life when it was herself she was trying to destroy. She spoke of her brokenness, her hopes and dreams – things she'd never told a living soul before in her life.

It was the single most intimate moment of Sami's life.

They weren't so much making love as making life out the broken pieces of both of them. EJ wrapped his arms around Sami's waist when she was done, sobbing into her shoulder at her confessions and remorse. He then began to choke out his whispered regrets and pain. EJ told Sami of the ways she'd hurt him, how it had felt, what it had done to him. He told of her the agony she'd caused him, the anger and tears and Sami just held him close, rocking gently and listened and understood every word.

At last there were no more words to say between them and then they were left clinging to one another, purged of so much, empty vessels ready to be filled again. EJ began to move more forcefully inside of her now and Sami buried her head in his neck, holding his so tightly neither one of them could hardly breathe. EJ's strokes were becoming more desperate now, his breathing more ragged.

"I love you," said Sami hoarsely as her body began to race towards that peak.

"I love you," EJ answered with a hoarse groan, "God so much Samantha, I love you!"

There it was, Sami's forgiveness, the thing that would lead EJ out of the dark places she'd put him in. Sami's heart swelled at knowing that, filled to overflowing with thankfulness and humbled beyond belief. EJ's hands tightened on Sami's hips and a last hard thrust from him had him cumming deep inside of her. Sami was orgasming around him at the same time as EJ's seed flooded her walls, both of them crying out in pleasure and in a coming together of spirits as much as bodies. They held each other when it was over, panting in each other's arms. Sami pulled back her head and looked at up at EJ with complete and utter love and adoration, the same expression he had on his face for her.

"Thank you," said Sami tremulously, "Thank you EJ."

Sami knew she still had a lot to prove to EJ but that could only happen over time but they'd laid the foundations now and that was the most important thing.

"Wh-what happens now?" asked EJ raggedly, clearly still overcome by what had just happened in this room and blinking at her a little uncertainly.

Sami didn't blame him for his trepidation but this time things were going to be so different between them.

"Whatever we want to happen," said Sami simply, a smile coming to her lips.

EJ nodded slowly, a slow answering smile mirroring her own.

"I want to make a life with you Samantha," said EJ sincerely, eyes full of hope for the first time in a very long time.

"Then that's what we'll do EJ," Sami promised him, cupping the back of his head and leaning in to kiss him.

The way forward wouldn't be easy but Sami knew, down to the bottom of her soul, that it would be worth it with this man by her side.


	10. Chapter 10

**AUTHOR'S NOTE****: **After all that I feel like we need something from EJ's POV of view eh? So here it is. ;)

**Chapter TEN**

EJ climbed out of his car and locked it, whistling a happy little tune. He caught himself doing it and grinned. But then why shouldn't he whistle, he had a lot to be happy about after all. It was just over a month since his and Samantha's melt down at the mansion. It still staggered him how Sami had been able to reach into the very depths of his soul and hold out the life line that he was too lost to know he even needed anymore.

What was even more astounding to him was that she'd wanted to. EJ had woken up from his coma to the realisation that Sami had shot him and something had just shut down inside of him. The hope that EJ had been cautiously nurturing throughout summer that he and Sami might yet still have a life together had been crushed once and for all, or so he believed.

EJ had decided that if he couldn't have Sami's heart then he'd have her body and make sure no other man ever had her. Of course at the time he didn't question why he just didn't cut her completely from his life but EJ hadn't wanted to examine that too closely. Life without Sami whilst married to Nicole had been some kind of faux living and EJ wasn't going to have that again.

He may not have been able to have all of Sami but he'd take what he could get, on his terms, by his rules and his children would have both their parent's living together. It had actually shocked EJ that first morning when they'd had sex. After four years of trying to cajole, sweet talk, reason, lay his heart bare for Sami to achieve that goal apparently he only had to do, not say anything.

He hadn't expected to get too far that first morning let alone have Sami three times – more than the total number of times they'd had sex in four years. EJ had figured it out then, or at least he thought he had – he had to withhold everything but his body from Sami and she wouldn't be able to stop herself from chasing after him. At first EJ had loved it, adored how she gave her body to him without argument or resistance. But no matter how many times EJ tasted of the Sami fruit he was never truly satisfied because deep down he knew that he wanted more than just her body.

When Sami had left that last morning EJ had followed her and as soon as he'd seen her with Rafe something had just snapped within him. It was the final straw that unleashed the floodgates of recriminations and accusations. It had felt so good to put into words all the anger and betrayal he'd felt at Sami's seemingly uncaring hand that day in their bedroom. The fight that had ensued had felt like four years of disappointment and pain being blurted out in one powerful act. Afterwards though, EJ had felt worse than he did before and had hated himself for his weakness.

Sami had screamed out her love for him during that last act of savage sex and it was all EJ had wanted to hear for so long and hated himself for what it did to him. He wanted to be free of the hold this woman had over him but hearing her declarations of love and how that made him feel threatened the carefully constructed reality he was desperate to maintain when it came to Sami. That realisation drove him from her presence and forced more walls up. He was too used to Sami's games to let himself go there again. Sami always toyed with him, sometimes intentionally and sometimes not and EJ was done with it, he didn't want to be her play thing anymore.

He hadn't expected how she was when Sami had followed him into the living room though and it was then EJ had realised his fatal mistake in allowing there to be kissing between them again. It had changed everything and he couldn't rein things back in and God help him but the will to try was leaving him which was even more frightening. But he'd had to kiss Sami, couldn't bear to hear her begging him to kill her, such a thought tore EJ's heart out that she could think he'd ever do such a thing. That just amplified the pain for EJ as well knowing Sami was capable of wanting him dead and had the scars to prove it.

He'd been such a mess of confusion and random emotion after that it was hard to find even the words to give voice to them. But then EJ had found Sami in that pool and everything had changed. It all came into sharp relief for him – no matter how torturous the life with Sami was it was so much better than a life without her in it. But then all the things Sami had said to him afterwards, it was all like a dream far too good to ever be true.

EJ feared for days afterward that he'd wake from that dream and find nothing had changed between them. He was afraid to close his eyes and sleep in the beginning in case he woke to a different reality. Each day he did wake though it was to meet this reborn Samantha, a woman who seemed to have gone through her own dark night of the soul and come out the other side something completely different. Or maybe more accurately – what she'd always been meant to be.

After what had happened by the pool he and Sami had talked – a lot. During their many talks they'd straightened many things out, expressed a lot of feelings and just been more honest with one another than they'd been with anyone else in their lives. EJ so wanted to embrace this new life, this second chance at everything that Sami seemed to be offering him with open arms but despite that something seemed to be holding him back. Sami had told him she understood, that there was a lot of water under their bridge and she was willing to wait until EJ had sorted out all the things he'd needed to.

It was so strange to be in this position. Sami was offering herself to him whole heartedly which is all EJ had ever wanted but now it was him he was baulking. It was like over the course of four years of knowing one another and all the things that had passed between them they'd completely swapped roles in each other's lives. When they'd first met it was EJ who had been sure they were meant to be together and encouraging Sami to believe in him and his love whilst Sami had been cautious and then downright reactionary to the concept.

EJ still couldn't imagine a life without Sami but he'd been hurt and rejected so many times by her that his faith had faltered and it wasn't so easily restored, no matter how much EJ might want it to be. But Sami had been amazing about the whole thing telling EJ that she understood and that everything was going to be alright. So they'd fallen into an easy rhythm of simply being parents to their children and rebuilding a real friendship and trust between them once again, like they had at the very beginning. Each day was more wonderful than the last as EJ slowly began to gain more confidence in the fact that this was real and Sami wasn't suddenly going to change her mind or run back to Rafe.

By tacit agreement they were no longer sleeping together. EJ missed being physically close to Sami, especially being able to share a bed with her but in the end it had felt necessary. Always their relationship had been too unbalanced one way or the other. Either EJ had been too open to an unready Sami or their relationship had been all mind games and one upmanship of hurting one another or too intensely physical without a meeting of hearts and mind. It felt like a new beginning for them and as Sami had confidently told him – they had time, they should take it and do this right, it was too important not to.

So for the last month they'd been parents and the friendship they'd enjoyed when they'd first met had returned. It was like their summer together only so much better because there was nothing left between them to hold back from the other. The days were filled with fun with the children and so many open and conversations with one another. EJ didn't think he'd ever been this happy in his life and it only got better each day. He could feel all of the scars of their past wounds fading for both of them. EJ knew he'd hurt Sami terribly over the years as she had him but somehow they were both finding their way out the other side of all of that to such a bright future. So that was why EJ had been quietly excited when Sami had rung him and asked him to meet her for a picnic lunch at the park. Every moment EJ spent with Sami he fell more under her spell and for the first time there was nothing to dread about that thought.

They'd moved out of his father's house, it had felt very important to distance himself from all of the symbols that had caused issues in their relationship before. Besides it was the house he'd shared with Nicole and EJ wanted something that was just his and Sami's. His father hadn't been thrilled but for the moment both he and Sami were relatively comfortable that Stefano should still be allowed in their lives so Stefano had ended up being placated with that and regular visits.

They'd moved into their new home they'd chosen together only a week ago and it was still a total mess of boxes and children toys but it was an exciting time nonetheless. EJ kept walking into the gardens until he was almost at the place Sami had organised to meet him. As he approached he heard the unmistakeable sound of his children's voice.

"No Sydney," piped up Johnny's voice, "You have to stayed here."

"Shh Johnny!" said Ali very loudly, "EJ will hear us."

EJ had to hide his smile at the twin's cute attempt at hiding and stepped into the clearing where there was a picnic table.

"Oh my," said EJ loudly, looking around himself, "I wonder where everyone is?"

EJ could hear the children giggling excitedly now and hid another smile. Suddenly Ali and Johnny burst out from behind one of the trees and Sydney a few seconds behind them, not sure what she was doing but following her older sibling's moves.

"Surprise Daddy!"

"S'prise!"

"Piz!"

EJ made a huge gesture of surprise in that way parents always do to delight their children.

"Johnny, Ali, Sydney!" said EJ wide eyed and looking shocked.

"Did we suprised you Daddy?" asked Johnny excitedly.

"So much Johnny!" exclaimed EJ, putting his hand to his heart and shaking his head, "Why I had no idea you were all there at all!"

The three excited children beamed at that and EJ smiled to see their excitement.

"Where's mummy darlings?" he asked, looking around knowing that they'd never be in the park by themselves.

They were lined up in front of him now and EJ could see all three of them had something behind their backs.

"We have a 'pecial surprise for you Daddy," said Johnny with a big grin.

"Do you now?" asked EJ with an indulgent smile wondering how he'd ever lived before his children were in his life, "I wonder what it could be?"

"We showed you EJ," said Ali with a huge smile and she and Johnny moved the piece of card from behind their backs and proudly displayed them, "You too Sydney."

Ali encouraged her younger sister to do the same as she and Johnny were doing.

"Taa dahh!" announced Sydney triumphantly having just recently learnt the word.

EJ choked back a gasp at the message or rather question written on the three separate cards each child was carrying.

"MARRY WILL YOU EW?"

Johnny and Ali were obviously standing out of order and little Sydney had her sign upside down but EJ knew exactly what it was meant to read and felt his heart tighten painfully with all of the emotion that rocketed through his body in that moment. EJ's vision became suddenly blurry as emotional tears filled his eyes at what this was. Sami walked out from a line of trees and came to stand by the children, a look of hopeful nervousness on her face.

"Hi," she said softly and EJ was too choked up to answer properly, "I felt like I owed you at least one of these EJ's."

Sami looked to her left and pulled a bit of a face at the children's efforts.

"We practiced that all morning," said Sami with a rueful smile at EJ.

"We do it right Mummy?" asked Johnny eagerly.

"It's perfect my loves," EJ answered for her with a tremulous smile.

EJ looked back at Sami then, holding her gaze adoringly.

"Utterly perfect."

"That was just the warm up act," said Sami, looking at him and gave him a smile full of trepidation.

EJ didn't know what else to expect but what Sami did next was something he'd never dreamt of in his wildest dreams. Holding EJ's gaze unflinchingly Sami went down on one knee in front of EJ, looking up at him with hopeful eyes.

"EJ I love you," said Sami emotionally, "I loved you from the beginning but ran from that love for so long and made us both suffer because of my fear. I don't want to run anymore, I want to be with a man who accepts me just the way I am and one that I do the same with. I want to be with a man who challenges me, makes me laugh, drives me crazy and is all the things I was too frightened to be loving you. I want to be with you EJ and only, today and all the rest of my todays."

"Samantha," said EJ raggedly, the sight of her kneeling before him and saying these impossibly sweet things affecting him in the most profound way.

"All my life I've been afraid of being alone EJ," Sami told him unevenly, "But I'm not afraid of that anymore."

Sami took a deep uneven breath.

"I'm only afraid of being alone without you," she confessed to him softly.

EJ closed his eyes, feeling his heart swell with love for this woman and realising how very far Sami had come in such a short amount of time to admit such a thing to him.

"I love you EJ and want to be by your side forever," said Sami earnestly, "Will you marry me?"

EJ wanted to scream out yes at the top of his lungs but his throat had constricted so with what Sami's sweet proposal had done to him that he couldn't quite get the word out. Sami was looking up at him with big blue eyes full of vulnerability and nervous hope and even fear that he might say no.

"Yes tah Mommy!" exclaimed Sydney brightly into the silence as she heard her mommy ask a question and though not understanding it she knew how to answer questions.

The child's innocent helpfulness broke the tension between her parents and both Sami and EJ burst out laughing.

"I think my youngest child has said it perfectly," said EJ with a huge smile, a happy smile streaking down his face.

EJ went down on his knees in front of Sami, drawing all the children and Sami into his arms at the same time.

"Yes tah Mummy," said EJ unevenly to a Sami whose face had lit up in relief and delight, "I marry will you ew – so very, very much."

Sami's face split open with the hugest of smiles as she cupped EJ's face and kissed him passionately as EJ held them all in his arms. EJ wanted that kiss to go on forever but it was a bit hard when you had three wiggly children under five in your arms at the same time.

"My turn!"

"Me too!"

The twins were wanting their kisses now and Sydney's squealed 'Meee!' meant there were suddenly a lot of sloppy, wet kisses being handed around. Everyone was laughing and kissing and for EJ it was an utterly perfect moment.

"I love you," said EJ emotionally, resting his forehead against Sami in amongst all of the madness.

"Enough to marry me now?" asked Sami with a quivering smile.

"Now?" asked EJ in surprise.

"Look Daddy!" exclaimed Johnny, ever the little man of action and keen to show his father.

Johnny grabbed EJ's hand as EJ stood up and dragged him over towards the path that EJ knew led to a gazebo on the other side of the line of bushes. When he walked through he could see what EJ could only assume was a marriage celebrant standing there with a patient smile on his face and the gazebo had been decorated all in flowers.

"Here EJ," said Ali with a big smile, "Mommy said I could looked after this for you."

Ali carefully removed a boutonnière from her dress pocket, a posy of purple flowers and handed it to EJ for him to wear and it was then EJ registered that all of the children were wearing different shades of purple – Johnny's shirt, the girl's dresses and Sami herself was wearing a softly flowing dress of lilac. He hadn't thought anything of it but Sami had laid out one of EJ's pale purple shirts to wear to work that morning and now he knew why.

"So," said Sami, looking nervous again as EJ looked down at his boutonnière and then back at her, "Winsomely romantic or pushing too hard?"

A slow smile came to EJ's lips at Sami even having to ask that question.

"Winsomely romantic Samantha," he said, a slowly spreading joy filling his body as he realised that at long last Sami was going to be his wife, "Definitely that one."

"So shall we do this?" asked Sami, her face practically glowing now, "Do you want to marry me now EJ and make this official once and for all?"

"More than I want my next breath sweetheart," said EJ huskily as they smiled at each other in excited adoration.

[center]**oooOOOOooo**[/center]

"You were gone awhile," Sami commented, glancing over her shoulder as she finished doing the washing up.

"The children were still very wound up from today, especially Johnny," said EJ, coming up behind Sami and putting his arms around her waist and kissing the top of her head lovingly, "The girls crashed pretty suddenly but Johnny needed a little more of his batteries run down."

"That kid is a live wire alright," said Sami with an indulgent shake of her head.

"To be fair he did have a lot of wedding cake," EJ laughed, hugging Sami to him at the memory of the dinner they'd shared that night at the restaurant Sami had picked.

"It was a special occasion," said Sami, leaning back into EJ as she pulled the plug, done with the washing up now.

"A very special occasion," agreed EJ huskily.

Sami turned around in EJ's arms and smiled up at him.

"Thank you," said EJ with a heartfelt smile, "Today was perfect Samantha – you have no idea what it means to me that you did all that for me."

"You have no idea what it means to me that you said yes and trusted me enough to marry me," said Sami, her face softening, "I was so scared you were going to say no EJ. I mean I did to you – twice."

"You know what I think?" asked EJ with a wry little smile, "I think that if things hadn't happened the way they had between us before then we wouldn't have had this perfect day and I wouldn't give up the memories we made today for all the money in the world sweetheart so from where I'm standing it was all worthwhile, all of it."

Sami's face lit up at hearing that and she went up on her toes and kissed EJ lingeringly. Despite the hiatus on sex they kissed and kissed often and EJ loved that it was frequently Sami who initiated the simple act of intimacy and many others like taking his hand. They broke the kiss and Sami rested her head on EJ's chest as he hugged her to him.

"I'm exhausted," she said with a laughing groan, putting her arms around his waist.

"I can only imagine what it took to organise all this," said EJ admiringly.

"That wasn't the hard part," said Sami with a rueful chuckle, "The hard part was making sure the children kept our little secret."

"They did well," agreed EJ with a grin as he put an arm around Sami's shoulder and she put hers around his waist and they started to walk out of the kitchen and headed towards the bedrooms on the second floor.

They had to walk around many boxes yet to be unpacked but EJ was just happy that they had a home to call their own where his children and Ali and hopefully Will one day would want to live. The teenager was on holidays visiting Carrie and Austin right now and Sami had told him he hadn't been overly thrilled at the news when she'd rung him and told him what she'd planned.

Sami had said it was more to do with her than EJ though when it came to Will. She'd been down this road a lot of times before and Will basically expected her to ruin it sooner or later. EJ knew that wasn't going to happen this time but neither he nor Sami could blame the teenager for thinking that. Hopefully over time he'd come round and they could all be a proper family.

"You know sweetheart," said EJ with a teasing little smile as they finished climbing the stairs and headed towards the bedrooms, "This doesn't feel like one of our weddings. I didn't get shot and it actually happened."

They stopped now by the spare room which was where EJ was sleeping and he pulled a face.

"Then again," he said wryly, "Separate rooms for our wedding night – now it's feeling like one of our weddings."

"You wanted you to have space EJ," said Sami, wrinkling her nose, "And I didn't want there to be any confusion on your behalf that I only wanted your body and not the whole package. We kind of get lost a bit in the sex and I didn't want that clouding your judgement. I was happy to wait until you were ready."

"I know," said EJ huskily, "And I do appreciate that sweetheart. I think I needed it just to be about us and starting this relationship properly, based on trust before anything else."

"We kind of did everything backwards in this relationship didn't we?" asked Sami wryly.

"I'd hate for us to be typical," said EJ with a little smile.

"I don't think anyone could accuse us of that EJ," said Sami with a dry little laugh.

Sami bit her bottom lip and looked suddenly nervous now.

"But-but we are married now," she said a little hesitantly, looking up at him almost shyly, "So I guess that means you've kind of made up your mind about my intentions towards you and if you can trust me or not."

"I guess it does," said EJ with a slow nod of his head.

"So-so if you wanted to you could ah... stay, with me tonight," said Sami looking decidedly nervous now.

"Samantha," said EJ thickly, finding himself hugely aroused by her shy advances, "You know there hasn't been a moment I haven't wanted you this past month don't you?"

"I-I'd understand if there wasn't," said Sami unhappily, "I mean I nearly ended your life, there was a lot for you to get your head around."

"All that sex in the beginning was a convenient distraction," EJ admitted ruefully.

"And there was so much of it," said Sami wistfully.

"I couldn't give you any time to run away Samantha," EJ said, rather enjoying how Sami had sounded when she'd said that.

Sami gave him another shy look.

"And you didn't," she said unevenly and then reached out a tentative hand to stroked EJ's chest, "I-I really miss our schedule EJ."

The combination of Sami's light touch and her confession had EJ's heart suddenly thundering and almost all of his blood supply head south of the border and his cock stirred restlessly. EJ leant into the crook of the door and Sami followed, snuggling up to him – much to his growing hard on's delight.

"What do you miss about it?" asked EJ, his voice roughening as he watched Sami's face closely.

"I miss the orgasms," admitted Sami candidly with a bit of a cheeky smile, "I miss not knowing if you were going to make me cum or leave me wanting more-"

EJ moved a little restlessly in his spot, the way Sami was fitting her soft curves against his hard lines now not being missed on him.

"-I miss the way you'd take what you wanted without asking," said Sami huskily, looking up at him through her lashes, "I miss how relentless you were, how demanding."

Sami moved even closer now, going up on her toes so her lips were more in line with his, EJ's breathing becoming decidedly ragged now.

"I miss seeing your cock huge and thick and knowing that you were going to impale me on it at any moment," said Sami throatily and EJ was forced to swallow a moan at that and squeeze his eyes closed, "I miss how much I satisfied you when you saw how wet I was for you each and every time."

"Oh god but I loved that," EJ groaned helplessly as countless memories assailed him of finding Sami's juices dripping down her inner thighs and knowing it was all for him.

Sami gave her own little moan now, beginning to rub her body against his as though she couldn't help it.

"I miss feeling you cum inside of me EJ," Sami groaned, her frustration now, "I miss feeling it flood all up deep inside of me and knowing that is was my body that had gotten you off."

"Yess," hissed EJ, his voice tight with excitement as he suddenly reversed their positions.

EJ flipped Sami around so she was up against the door frame, his hand going to her breast and roughly massaging it through her clothes.

"Have you been touching yourself, making yourself cum this last month Samantha?" EJ demanded to know, his mind's eyes filled with images of her doing just that.

"I-I tried not to EJ," said Sami breathlessly, clearly enjoying his touch, "But I couldn't help it."

"Did you think of me every time you did it?" asked EJ roughly, needing to know.

"Yes," said Sami with a low moan, "Always you EJ."

EJ tightened his hand possessively on her breast at that admission.

"I'd like a wedding present from you Samantha," said EJ, his eyes dark with his own arousal.

"Yes," Sami groaned hungrily, "Anything EJ."

"I want you to make yourself cum right now while I watch," said EJ hoarsely.

"Wouldn't you like to do it for me?" asked Sami, licking her lips hungrily.

EJ would, very much so but he didn't know if he could trust himself once his fingers slipped into that dripping, pulsating core of Sami's – his hard on would be demanding its own turn soon enough. As it was the monster was already a painful pressure against his trousers.

"I want to watch," EJ said roughly.

Sami drew in an excited breath. Holding EJ's gaze Sami slowly pulled up the skirt of her dress so that her underwear was exposed to his avid gaze.

"Take them off," said EJ thickly, feeling himself begin to fall into this familiar web.

Oh god how he wanted this woman.

Sami quickly complied, shimming out of them and leaving them to pool around one ankle.

She moved her right hand to the apex of her thighs, her left hand still holding up her skirt so EJ could see properly.

"Use your other hand," EJ growled, moving restlessly as he pinned Sami to the wall as his own need for the show to start built inside of him.

Sami looked at him in confusion.

"I want your hand with my wedding ring on it to be the one which makes you cum," said EJ, his voice thick with excitement.

Sami gave a knowing smile at that and hurried to comply. EJ watched mesmerised as Sami began to work on herself, fingers disappearing into her folds and finding the clit that EJ knew from experience would already be swollen. The flash of Sami's engagement ring as she worked on herself frantically was an odd aphrodisiac for EJ – a symbol that she'd given her heart to him before giving her body now.

It added so much to the moment for EJ and his stomach muscles clenched accordingly. Sami was beginning to pant rapidly now and there were little grunting groans escaping her lips that she was trying to contain, conscious of not waking the children who were sleeping not far away. EJ's own breathing became ragged as he watched Sami struggle to contain herself.

"Let me go inside the bedroom EJ," Sami moaned in frustration, "I can be loud for you."

"No," said EJ, the excitement building in the pit of his stomach and tightening his balls, "I want it like this."

Sami bit her bottom lip to stop a moan of complaint but apparently despite her frustration she seemed to be enjoying EJ taking charge like this. She gasped and began to shudder helplessly as EJ tweaked the nipple he had in his hand hard as Sami suddenly climaxed. He was forced to help her stand up when Sami's knees suddenly went weak and she sagged against him a little.

"Oh god," she moaned weakly, clutching at EJ's shirt front and clearly trying to recover.

"Thank you," said EJ hoarsely, leaning his forehead against Sami, "Thank you for my wedding gift sweetheart."

"You can have more EJ," said Sami shakily, still trying to catch her breath but obviously very eager to please.

Her hand went to the front of EJ's trousers, cupping his painfully throbbing bulge and making EJ draw in a sharp breath from the flair of intense need.

"I think someone needs you to fuck your new wife all night long," said Sami, looking up at him with big blue eyes shining with excitement and need.

EJ swallowed hard and began to shake a little himself now...


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter ELEVEN**

Sami rolled over restlessly in the bed and gave a frustrated groan. Her body was a throbbing mess of excruciating need and there was nothing to be done about it. No cold shower, no self stimulation or sex toy was going to cure this ache. Sami was mad at herself – she'd made a promise that she'd give EJ the space he needed, not pressure him for anything but at the first bit of sexual teasing between them she was a horny teenager begging for more. EJ had kissed her and told Sami that while he loved her very much it was still too soon for him, that he needed more time and had taken himself off to the spare room.

She made a disgusted sound at her lack of control. After all that EJ had given her it wasn't too much to ask that she give him a little time to deal with all that had happened. Sami knew she should be sitting in a jail cell rather than in a beautiful home with her children and falling more in love with the man of her dreams every day and that was all down to EJ. He'd given her everything, even when Sami had turned his life into a nightmare and it was just so humbling.

Sami held up her hand in front of her face as she lay there trying to sleep and smiled at the wedding band and engagement ring that now adorned it. She'd worn weddings rings so many times before and even EJ's but this time it was for keeps. There was no way she or EJ were ever going to let the other go now. That thought finally managed to calm Sami down and at last she was able to drift off to sleep.

The first thing Sami knew next was the sheets being ripped from her body and her eyes flew open with a gasp of fear but EJ was already crushing her mouth under his. Her heart that was hammering from fear quickly changed to arousal when she realised EJ was naked and in obvious need of her. Apparently she hadn't been the only one finding it hard to sleep.

"Oh thank god," Sami groaned as EJ began to tear at her clothes like a man possessed.

Sami wasn't entirely sure how much longer she could have lasted before losing her mind over the way she wanted this man. Any kind of communication seemed beyond EJ at this point but his ragged breathing and urgent touch told Sami he was a man on the edge. All she could think about was giving herself to him completely and satisfying both of their needs in the process. EJ's mouth was on Sami's again, his tongue forcing itself into her mouth and claiming her and the fierceness of it only made her core water even more because she knew that it was only a prelude to the real thing.

Sami's hand reached out blindly for EJ's hard on which was pressing into her stomach and wrapped itself around the swollen staff. EJ groaned noisily into their kiss while Sami thrilled to how big he was. It jerked at her touch but Sami held on tight, stroking the heavily veined monster lovingly. Her thumb went to that velvet head of his and rubbed back and forth and EJ gifted her with some pre-cum for her efforts. EJ broke the kiss and gave a grunting grimace at the sensation, squeezing his eyes closed tightly against the simple pleasure.

"No more!" he growled when Sami's other hand went to his balls and felt them tighten in her hand.

EJ was on the edge and Sami knew he didn't want to blow his load in her hand and gave a little shudder of pleasure at knowing what lay ahead. She felt him push her legs apart, pressing Sami's knees open wide on the bed on either side of her. One of EJ's hands left her knee briefly to feel amongst Sami's slick folds, seeing if she was wet enough for him. EJ gave a grunt of approval at finding Sami dripping and more than ready. His hand then went to his cock and guided that giant purple head to her opening and Sami was forced to grit her teeth against the intense pleasure of finally being impaled on it once again. EJ mounted her slowly, clearly wanting to draw out the moment and Sami's choked cries told him how much she was enjoying it.

Sami's walls strained to take him all and she loved every second of it. When EJ was all the way in and Sami could feel his balls pressed up against her backside he stopped and they stared at each other wide eyed. Their combined noisy breathing filled the air and Sami felt the enormity of that moment. This was going to be the first time they were going to make love when everything was absolutely perfect between them. There were no secrets or lies, their love was out in the open and forgiveness on both sides was healing old wounds. At last they were married and this was the last act, the seal over all that they'd achieved together in finding their way back to one another.

"Samantha," said EJ raggedly, his face taunt with need for her but feeling how big this moment was as well.

"I know EJ," said Sami breathlessly, putting a hand up to his muscled stomach, "I know."

That seemed to be all EJ needed as he began to move inside of her with hard desperate strokes. Sami suspected that EJ was like her and had envisaged a gentle, slow coming together this first time but their bodies clearly had other ideas. They were starving for each other and couldn't get enough. Sami's clit that was already sensitised from her earlier attention of it under EJ's watchful eye and was throbbing in ecstasy every time EJ rammed his cock against it, making Sami's toes curl and her back arch.

EJ was plunging himself into her again and again with growing urgency until Sami could hardly breathe anymore. The bed head was beginning to bang noisily against the wall but neither one of them was in any kind of condition to stop and fix it. Sami's could feel the climax building in her body and clutched at the bed clothes helplessly, knowing it was going to be a particularly strong one with how forceful EJ was being.

"EJ!"

Sami screamed out his name as her body exploded into a million pieces of blinding light, filling her to overflowing with pleasure and satisfaction that only EJ knew how to bring her. Sami's walls clamped down on EJ's hard member mercilessly but still he wouldn't stop, driving himself into her harder and harder each time. It prolonged Sami's orgasm that much longer and had her moaning helplessly, completely at EJ's mercy. Her body was still throbbing pleasurably when Sami managed to open her eyes again and see EJ's face, tight with pleasure at watching her go through that because of him and very rapidly nearing his own peak. Suddenly Sami wanted to see, wanted to watch EJ's body release with her own eyes.

"Show me!" she begged him frantically, "I want to see you cum EJ!"

EJ's eyes widened in surprise at the request and his pumping slowed briefly.

"On me," Sami pleaded with him, "Please EJ, I want to watch."

EJ made a strangled groan at her pleas and renewed his efforts inside of Sami, pinning her to the bed with the force of his strokes. At the last moment EJ pulled out, his face twisted in pleasure as he went up on his knees and Sami eagerly grabbed for his cock and pumped it for him. Almost immediately EJ tensed and suddenly Sami was watching several streams of white fluid being ejaculated from his body. She leant back on her elbows and watched as they hit her stomach and breasts and listened to EJ's excited moans of release.

The scent of EJ's unique maleness filled the air as he delivered his load onto Sami's waiting body and made her head spin. His hot seed hit her flesh and made Sami's nipples tighten even harder at the sensation. She watched in fascination as EJ let out a low groan as his balls pushed out all that he had for her. It was so damn sexy to watch that glistening monster that had been inside of her jerk around and shoot out its milky cargo for her. Sami's moans joined EJ's in filling the room.

EJ leant back on his haunches and tried to catch his breath as he watched helplessly as Sami continue to greedily milk his body for more. EJ's cock twitched and jerked, the strong pulsations of pleasure obvious in the way his still swollen head was throbbing when she'd let him go and Sami was fascinated. She pumped his shaft once again and then removed her hand, watching in great satisfaction as more of EJ's creamy goodness squirted out and onto her stomach.

"Oh god," said Sami excitedly, incredibly turned on by this display, "How much have you got for me EJ?"

It seemed never ending and Sami's thighs were watering again already at the show his body was putting on for her. Sami inserted the nail of her index finger into his slit and worked on the sensitive flesh making EJ draw in a pained breath of pleasure. He threw back his head and let out a loud complaining groan but despite his protests his body rewarded Sami's efforts with yet more of his sticky maleness and as it dribbled from his tip and down her fingers.

"You're going to drown me EJ," Sami giggled at how much of the stuff there was all over her body now.

"It's been a long month," EJ panted with a self deprecating smile at his body's enthusiastic offerings to her.

"So long," Sami agreed with a groan.

Her hand was back on EJ's slowly softening cock, massaging it gently now.

"Is-is this a one off?" asked Sami nervously, still trying to catch her own breath, "Do you need more time EJ?"

Sami was almost certain that she'd die if he said yes but was willing to put a brave face on it if EJ did feel that way. EJ held her gaze, a look of spent satisfaction in them and so much more that it was hard to read in the low light.

"Because it is okay if it is," continued on Sami unsteadily, "I understand, I really do."

EJ's eyes travelled the length of her body and Sami wondered what he was seeing but didn't have long to wait for an answer to that question.

"God but you're the sexiest thing I've ever seen," said EJ thickly, "I love you like this Samantha."

"What?" Sami challenged him taking his hand and guiding it to between her legs, "All wet for you and covered in your cum?"

"Yes," EJ growled throatily, his eyes flaring at her graphic description, "I can't get enough of you Samantha – I'm starving for you all of the time."

"Me too," said Sami shakily, thrilling to his words, "This last month nearly killed me EJ – I didn't think it was possible to want someone so much."

"I'm ready sweetheart," said EJ, his eyes glowing with love for her, "I want all of you, every little piece, your mind, your heart, your body from this moment onwards."

"And it's all yours EJ," Sami promised him throatily, joy filling her body at his admission, "Forever."

EJ moved to lie beside Sami and caught her mouth up in a tender, joy filled kiss as they sealed their vows.

"I love you," said EJ hoarsely, stroking Sami's face adoringly.

"I love you too EJ," Sami said with a huge smile.

They rested their foreheads against one another's and just smiled lovingly at one another for a long moment. Eventually though EJ tore his eyes from Sami's and looked down at her body which was still covered in his now cooling seed.

"Look at the mess I made," EJ tutted, a wicked smile coming to his lips.

"If you always have this much for me then I think I need to up my dose of the pill," Sami said with a grin, looking down at his handiwork as well.

"Does it get you wet to know I made all of that for you?" asked EJ throatily.

"You know it does," said Sami, getting a little breathless again.

One of EJ's hands slipped between her legs and found proof for himself. Sami gave a little groan as one of his wandering fingers slipped between her folds and sneaked up into her core.

"I suppose now that I'm all domesticated I should clean up after myself?" EJ mused and Sami had to concentrate on what he meant because that wayward finger was now stroking her walls and making fresh moisture for itself.

"Th-that's what a good husband would do," Sami agreed unsteadily as a rush of wetness left her body and coated his hand.

"Someone likes the sound of that I see," said EJ with a mischievous gleam in his eye.

It did turn Sami on the thought of EJ lapping his own milky seed from her body and her nipples instantly tightened in anticipation of getting some much needed attention in the process. EJ bent his head and began to clean up after himself, the soft rasp of his tongue finding every nook and cranny of Sami's body in his thoroughness. Sami could feel the arousal building in her body once again as she watched EJ do this for her, his mouth lingering over her breasts and hardened nipples.

"Oh EJ," Sami whimpered, hand clutching at his head as he nibbled at the sensitised teat.

"God but your breasts get me so hard," EJ groaned against her delicate flesh, "No other woman has come close to affecting me this way."

EJ lifted his head and rubbed his stubbled cheek against the now straining peak as he continued to talk.

"They're just so beautiful," he said in awe.

"Maybe it's because you know they've nursed your babies?" suggested Sami huskily, remembering his fantasies and feeling her insides quiver accordingly.

"Maybe," said EJ, his eyes darkening and Sami glanced down to see his cock beginning to stiffen again.

EJ moved up Sami's body and claimed her mouth in a kiss that tasted of his salty maleness and made her shudder violently with renewed need for him.

"I have so many fantasies when it comes to you Samantha," said EJ thickly, pulling back and looking at her with hooded eyes, "So many things I want to do to your body and have you do to me."

"Me too," Sami groaned before nervously biting her bottom lip, "EJ?"

"Mm?" he murmured distractedly, his lips making their way down her neck now.

"I've had this recurring fantasy for a little while now," said Sami breathlessly.

EJ lifted his head and looked at her with great interest.

"I was wondering if we could do it now?" asked Sami a little hesitantly, still uncertain of how far and how quickly EJ wanted to go with this just yet.

A slow smile came to EJ's lips at her request which made Sami a little bolder.

"It could be my wedding gift from you," said Sami with the beginnings of a cheeky smile.

"Why do I think I'm going to get more enjoyment out of this gift than you?" asked EJ with a mischievous quirk of his lips.

"If we do it right I think it will be about equal," said Sami with a little giggle, "Wait here."

"You're leaving me?" asked EJ with a little pout as Sami quickly scrambled out of bed and grabbed a wrap and threw it on.

EJ rolled onto his back and indicated his hard on which was continuing to stiffen nicely.

"In this condition?"

"I won't be long," Sami promised him with a cheeky look, "I just need something from the kitchen."

Her heart pounding excitedly in her chest Sami then hurried from the room, intent on getting what she needed and then coming back to EJ and getting what she really needed...


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter TWELVE**

EJ stretched out on the bed, head supported by a pillow and put his hand on his muscled stomach. The movement made the ring on his left hand glint – the only thing he was wearing. EJ closed his eyes, recalling the exact moment Sami had placed it on his finger in the park that day. It had been utterly perfect, her face shining with love as she promised herself to him forever. It was all EJ had ever dreamed of and so much more. To love Sami with no more lies and pretence between them and to have her do the same just elevated every feeling, every emotion to this incredible level. EJ knew he'd always remember that moment as one of the happiest of his life.

He'd gone to bed with images of Sami pleasuring herself for him dancing in his head and sleep just hadn't claimed him. EJ had tossed and turned until he realised that he didn't know what he was waiting for anymore. He realised that he did trust Sami again and his last reserve just dissipated into nothingness and nothing was holding him back from going to her. Of course it helped that he'd been as horny as hell but even after satisfying his hunger for Sami EJ realised he felt the same way. They'd both put each other through so much to get here but now that they were EJ didn't want to waste a moment of it.

EJ moved restlessly on the bed, wondering where Sami had gotten to. He was starving for her again and could only imagine what she was bringing back from the kitchen for them. His hard on twitched in anticipation and EJ gave a half smile and reached out to fondle it gently, keeping himself ready for Sami when she returned. Not that he seemed to have any trouble in that department mind you. He'd been used to having Sami so often before their big blow out that a certain member of his body had been very put out when EJ had put a stop to all of that.

He'd wake up every morning with the mother of all hard ons and so many times EJ had nearly gone to Sami to ask her to provide a little relief for him. EJ gave a soft moan as he imagined how willingly Sami would have complied, she'd made no secret of how much she wanted him during this month of self inflicted abstinence. He bit his bottom lip, hand unconsciously squeezing his manhood hard as EJ imagined Sami on her knees, enthusiastically servicing him. Pre-cum dribbled from his tip and EJ absently rubbed his thumb over the moisture, feeling the driving need to quicken his pace now.

"Hey, you're not starting without me are you?"

Sami's teasing complaint had EJ's eyes snapping back open to see his wife standing there with a half smile on her face, her hands behind her back.

"It feels like you've been gone for weeks," EJ said with a complaining groan, his eyes twinkling at being caught out, "What's a man to do?"

"You've kept it in your pants for a month EJ," Sami said with a little laugh, "I thought you had more self control then that."

"I did until you left me with the taste of your cum mixed with mine in my mouth," said EJ with a wicked smile, "It seems I can't control myself any longer."

"Women don't cum EJ," said Sami and blushed a little, "Not like that I mean."

EJ's smile widened at seeing that – the virgin bride. There was still an innocence to Sami that came out at the most surprising times EJ had found and he loved it.

"Trust me sweetheart as a man who has been the beneficiary of that little delightful trick of your body I beg to differ," said EJ huskily, "And you're delicious in case you're wondering."

"So are you," said Sami with a shy little smile.

EJ smiled to hear that and then cocked his head to one side as he heard something clink behind Sami's back.

"What did you bring us back Samantha?" asked EJ, his expression one of intense interest.

"Do you remember our fight in the living room?" asked Sami, starting to walk towards EJ, "After the pool room?"

"Hard to forget," said EJ, sitting up now and moving over to the side of the bed, watching Sami as she approached him.

She came to stand directly in front of EJ, nudging his knees apart so she could stand in between them.

"Do you remember your drink?" asked Sami huskily, "Do you remember what you were doing to me with the ice before-"

Sami stopped and wrinkled her nose, both of them remembering how that had ended.

"I remember," EJ reassured her throatily.

"I really enjoyed it EJ," continued on Sami, tilting her head and looking down at him, hands still behind her back, "And I wanted more."

Sami moved what she was hiding behind her back to the front and EJ could see it for the first time. It was an ice bucket full of ice.

"I've kind of been going solo for awhile now," said Sami unevenly, "But it's not quite the same."

"I wondered why we had so much ice in the freezer," commented EJ with a teasing arch of his eyebrow.

"Want to know a secret EJ?" asked Sami throatily.

"I'm guessing by the look on your face I do," said EJ with a grin.

"Sometimes I'd take a couple of those ice cubes when I was thinking of you and all hot and wet and put them inside of me for a moment and then put them back in the tray," confessed Sami unevenly as she bit her bottom lip, "Then I'd watch you use those same ice cubes to put in your nightly scotch. I would practically cum on the spot watching you put those ice cubes in your mouth and swirl them around."

"Oh god!" said EJ raggedly, having had no idea.

His cock swelled to extremely painful proportions at Sami's breathy confession. EJ actually felt dizzy at the thought of Sami playing such games with him without his knowledge. This woman was sex on a stick and she was all his.

"I guess I kind of broke our agreement," said Sami, looking suitably contrite, "But I just couldn't help myself EJ."

"I suppose it is alright if you make it up to me now," said EJ, his face tightened in hungry lines, "And promise me one thing."

EJ pulled on the tie of her robe and it undid easily so he nudged one side of it to one side to expose one of Sami's breasts.

"What's that?" asked Sami with a tiny smile, seeing EJ's avid interest in the treasure he'd just unearthed.

"You don't stop doing it," said EJ unevenly, his voice cracking a little.

"I think that can be arranged," said Sami with a satisfied smirk.

"Can you show me what you did with the ice?" asked EJ, his voice tightened in arousal.

Sami wiggled her shoulders a little and her robe fell to her waist, revealing both of her breasts now and EJ couldn't help himself from licking his lips hungrily. She placed the ice bucket on the nearby bedside table, within easy reach. Selecting one ice cube Sami picked it up and held it to one of her nipples. It tightened to what looked like a painful peak to EJ as Sami rubbed the ice all over the pert nub. EJ leant back on the bed, propping himself up with the palms of his hand and watched Sami's slow movements with rapt attention.

His cock strained painfully at the tantalising vision in front of him and EJ grimaced as his balls tightened in protest. Sami looked down at the swollen red monster between EJ's legs and gave a satisfied smile. She reached out with both hands to hold onto the back of EJ's head and then guided his hungry mouth to one of her iced treats. Sami's teat was hard and cold and the sensation was different to what it normally felt like to be suckling at her breast but EJ really liked it. After he'd warmed up one nipple Sami directed him to the next and EJ eagerly complied.

When EJ had performed his task to Sami's satisfaction she pushed on his shoulders hard, forcing EJ to disengage and he gave a complaining groan and fell back on the bed, propped up by his elbows. EJ's disappointment was short lived though as Sami reached for the ice bucket again and popped several of them into her mouth before stepping out of her robe and sinking to her knees. She placed her hands on EJ's knees and he was forced to bite back a scream as she took his balls into her icy mouth.

"Oh sweet god in heaven!" exclaimed EJ in disbelief as he threw his head back, every muscle straining.

His balls which had been hot and heavy were suddenly being forced to accept this cold mouth with its delicious sucking action that both confused and excited his body with the conflicting sensations. Sami used her clever tongue to torture EJ's balls with the cubes, walking the fine line between pleasure and pain. With one long, hard suck she released her prisoners from their cold entrapment and looked up at EJ, cheekily crunching on what was left of the ice cubes as he struggled to catch his breath.

"I've been wanting to do that for so long now," she told him with a mischievous smile, her cold tongue flicking out and dancing over the sensitised head of EJ's heavily engorged cock.

He hissed noisily at the teasing, muscles clenching again.

"I think it's my turn now," said EJ hoarsely, eager to have his own fun now.

"But I'm not done yet," said Sami with a little pout as she stroked his hard on now, "That was only the warm up-"

She gave him a sly look.

"-so to speak."

EJ's cock throbbed at the promise in Sami's eyes and it was screaming at him to let her have her way with it but EJ was desperate to inflict some sweet torture of his own. He scooted back in the bed, propping himself up with a couple of pillows and patted his chest.

"Climb aboard the EJ express sweetheart," he ordered her throatily, "We can both get what we want."

Sami grinned and grabbed up another handful of ice and put it in her mouth as she straddled EJ's chest, her back to him as she bent over and took his straining cock in her icy mouth.

"OH GOD!" cried out EJ loudly, his hands going to Sami's bottom cheeks which were now directly in front of his face.

He squeezed hard, unable to help himself as Sami and her mouthful of ice went down on his molten cock. It made EJ want to cum right there and then but the coldness stopped it from happening so he was trapped in this excruciating limbo that had him gritting his teeth and praying Sami would never stop. Panting loudly EJ reached for the ice bucket now. The smell of Sami's excited sex was thick in his nostrils and EJ could already see the moisture dribbling out of her core and it made him swallow hard.

He rubbed his roughened cheek along Sami's inner thigh and felt her give a little shudder. Next EJ took one of the ice cubes and ran it along Sami's swollen folds and smiled to hear Sami's approving groan. Next EJ sought out her clit, rubbing it with lazy circles and watched her backside quiver as he did. She was still working on his cock like a woman possessed and the need to cum was building painfully but it wasn't going to happen with all of that ice. As the ice melted in his fingers it dribbled down on his chest, the coldness a stark contrast to Sami's heated thighs.

EJ picked up another piece of ice and could feel Sami bracing in anticipation. This time he dragged the frozen block down between her bottom cheeks, making Sami clench even more. He rested the ice cube against the puckered bud that lay between them, massaging one of her bottom cheeks with his hand.

"Relax for me sweetheart," he instructed her and a violent shudder went through Sami's body as she realised what he intended.

EJ gently pressed for entry into her body and after an initial resistance it accepted it. Sami gave a long moan of pleasure, actually releasing EJ's manhood from her mouth as she did.

"Oh god EJ!" she groaned happily.

"Is this as good as your fantasies Samantha?" asked EJ thickly.

"Better," she panted and then gave another low groan, "So much better."

"Do you want more?"

"Please," Sami begged him, arching her back.

EJ carefully placed another ice cube against the bud and slipped it into the anxiously expectant Sami. Her legs convulsed as she gave choking gasps of approval. EJ felt his arousal building once more, free from Sami's icy mouth and he quickly grabbed a few more ice cubes and put them into his mouth. He placed his mouth against Sami's core and one by one, fed the cubes into her waiting core with his tongue.

"Oh EJ," said Sami unsteadily, "That feels incredible."

"If you don't mind I'll find out for myself," said EJ with a deep chuckle.

He moved so that he was no longer under Sami but now kneeling behind her as she stayed on her hands and knees. EJ took her hips in his hands and guided her back onto his engorged manhood. It fought for space inside of Sami with the ice and EJ's eyes rolled back in his head at the sensation.

"Samantha," he said her name raggedly, hands tightening on her hips.

"EJ!" Sami gasped in response to his probing.

There was no hint of hesitation in her voice so EJ began to move himself gently in and out of her, the sensation excruciatingly good. Ice water trickled out of Sami's core, melted by the heat and friction of their bodies and ran down both her legs and his. The feeling of hot and cold battled for supremacy for them both as it excited but also prevented them from cumming. EJ knew that they were going to be able to hold off from orgasming for awhile with this particular trick. He leant over Sami so that his front was pressed against her back, lips at her ear.

"This is going to take a long time," EJ panted, hands going for Sami's breast and massaging them roughly, fingers pulling on her already swollen nipples.

Sami gave a sob and nodded her head in eager anticipation.

"Please!" she said anxiously, "I want this to last forever EJ!"

Sami's honesty was rewarded with EJ deepening his strokes inside of her, impaling her more fully as his cock began to demand more of her. Her excited moans filled the air as EJ worked her body with his own, in an oblivion of painful pleasure that consumed them both. When the ice had all but melted EJ withdrew from Sami and reached for more ice cubes. He slipped more back inside of her, both of her holes and made Sami moan into the bed sheets approvingly. EJ mounted her once again, feeling her body's resistance to the act but Sami's desperate pleas for more made him continue. Penetrating her like this was a singular experience and despite all of the ice EJ was sweating profusely. His balls were an exercise in agony as they slapped against Sami's backside, his strokes becoming more urgent and forceful. EJ repeated this process over and over again until there was no more ice left for them to play with.

"Had enough?" he asked Sami hoarsely, the need to cum now practically overwhelming him but EJ wasn't going to stop until he'd fulfilled her fantasies and then some.

"Yes," Sami sobbed, almost incoherently, "Oh god EJ I need to cum so badly now."

Sami moved off EJ's cock and it sprang up, hitting his stomach and complaining bitterly. She turned around, getting up unsteadily on her knees and pushing on EJ's chest so that he was sitting up against the head board. Sami straddled him then but stayed up on her knees as she grabbed EJ's head and guided his mouth to one of her breasts. EJ didn't need to be told twice, attaching himself and enthusiastically suckling at one of Sami's glorious teats. Meanwhile Sami's hand slipped between her body and began rubbing her clit hard. Water was no substitute for the lubricant she was going to need for what was about to happen.

The ice was all but melted now, just a few last dribbled running down Sami's leg and onto EJ's stomach, making it tense. Sami's hand, sticky with her own juices found EJ's straining cock and pumped it a few times, coating him with her goodness. His own pre-cum oozed out from the tip and joined in on the party. Sami directed his purple head to her clit and rubbed the little bud of flesh with it and made herself moan loudly before placing it at her opening. She sank down on his hugely engorged rod and made them both cry out. Sami was hot and sticky now and EJ's cock rejoiced to find her that way, knowing it at last would be able to fill her to overflowing with the load it had for her.

"You're a goddess," EJ groaned through clenched teeth at the sensation of her body wrapping itself tightly around his.

"I'm a horny goddess," Sami corrected him throatily, her eyes gleaming wickedly as she began to move up and down on him remorselessly.

EJ's hands flew to Sami's bottom cheeks and helped her to ride him, grinding her down on his cock as hard as he could and pleasuring them both. He knew his release when it came was going to be enormous after this amount of foreplay and EJ's balls had never felt heavier or more in need of relieving themself.

"I've got such a load to give you sweetheart," he promised her raggedly, unable to take his eyes off the divine creature that was currently riding him into oblivion.

"And I want every drop of it," Sami panted, hands on his chest now as her body surged against his relentlessly.

EJ spread his fingers out so he had a good grip on Sami's backside, grinding his eager cock into her in ever greater urgency. His excited grunts were growing louder and drowning out Sami's desperate panting as they drew ever closer to that edge. Sami's body was getting more demanding and EJ knew she was close and then she was suddenly exploding all around him. Her walls convulsed around his cock, whole body shaking uncontrollably as Sami cried out her pleasure. As soon as Sami began to cum he slipped a long finger into that little rose bud between her bottom cheeks and let her ride both his cock and his finger as she spasmed helplessly around both.

EJ had wanted to hold on until Sami was done but it was impossible. Her hot, writhing body was his undoing and EJ gave a loud shout as he suddenly tensed and blew an incredibly large load into Sami. It didn't feel like he would ever stop, his hot seed spurting from his pulsating tip and then stopping briefly before Sami's squirming body would milk more from him.

"Oh god EJ," said Sami shakily, in complete wonder as he kept on going and going, "Are you ever going to stop?"

"I don't think so," said EJ with a complaining groan threw gritted teeth as a fresh volley of his jizz left him and poured into Sami's body.

"It feels so good baby," Sami cooed, rolling her hips now to encourage more of the stuff from him, "Don't stop, keep going."

Sami's breasts were scrapping against his chest as EJ held onto her hips tightly. EJ suddenly sat up, forcing Sami onto her back as he continued to drive his still spewing cock into her. He tensed one last time, backside clenching and making sure he was as deep inside of Sami as he could be until the last drop of his seed was delivered into her with a satisfied grunt on EJ's behalf.

"Boy EJ," said Sami, her face glowing from sweat, her voice unsteady, "You sure know how to mark your territory."

EJ couldn't answer her, he was still too awash in pleasure so instead he growled and grabbed for Sami's breast, claiming her mouth in a possessive kiss. She was his now, in every way, just like he was hers and EJ was never going to let either of them forget it.

"Oh," Sami gave a disappointed sigh when EJ eventually pulled out of her, his cock at last spent.

"Best wedding night ever," EJ declared in complete and utter satisfaction and Sami giggled to hear the pronouncement as he collapsed beside her on the bed.

"I'm glad to hear it considering you were shot our last two wedding nights," said Sami ruefully, still trying to catch her own breath.

"Granted the competition wasn't stiff but I think we've made up for both of those unhappy events with some to spare," said EJ happily, still panting.

"You're so forgiving," said Sami with a shake of her head.

"My father holds enough grudges for the family," said EJ with a half smile as Sami settled into his arms.

Her body was hot and slick with sweat, mixing with his own but EJ didn't care.

"This bed is a soaking," said Sami with a groan, "We should at least change the sheets."

"Mm," said EJ, not that interested in moving, possibly ever again.

Sami seemed to be in the same boat because despite her observation she made no move either. EJ could feel his contented exhaustion urging him to sleep as the minutes ticked by and he'd almost succumbed before Sami spoke again.

"EJ," said Sami quietly, her head on his chest and sounding like she was on the verge of sleep as well.

"Mm?" EJ murmured sleepily.

"Why did you stay?"

EJ focused his eyes and attention on Sami in the dark at that serious sounding question.

"I mean I was so horrible for so long to you," said Sami painfully, "I gave you no hope, only disappointment and rejection, time and time again EJ. Why did you stay when any sane man would have walked away from me years ago and saved themselves the pain?"

EJ smiled.

"I wondered if you were ever going to ask me that?" said EJ softly, mustering the strength to wake up more for this important discussion.

"You couldn't have loved me that whole time EJ," said Sami with a sad shake of her head.

"Couldn't I?" asked EJ with a little smile.

"I made it impossible for you EJ," said Sami with a grimace, "That's why you married Nicole."

"I married Nicole because I had this desperate hope that love and a family was something I could get with any woman," said EJ calmly, "I was wrong. I could only hate you the way I did during my madness of taking Sydney because of the way I loved you."

"But why EJ?" asked Sami earnestly, rolling herself onto her side and propping herself up on her elbow, "How could you love me despite all that I did?"

EJ rolled onto his side as well, mimicking her position, head on his hand.

"Have you ever heard the story of the frog and the scorpion?" he asked with a half smile.

"I don't think so," said Sami slowly, "Ug – am I the amphibian or the arachnid?"

"Just listen," said EJ with a chuckle at Sami's decided lack of thrill at being either, "One day the scorpion found he needed to cross the river but had no way of doing it so he asked a frog that happened by for help."

"If I'm the frog I'd tell him where to stick it," said Sami sceptically.

"This isn't a long story darling," said EJ with an indulgent smile, "Do you mind containing the peanut gallery for another minute?"

"Talk faster," Sami advised him with a quirk of her lips.

"So as you've pointed out the frog was sceptical," said EJ wryly, "He asked the scorpion why he would do such a thing when the scorpion could just up and sting him at any time. The scorpion replied that such a thing would make no sense. The frog would die and the scorpion would drown."

"Sounds reasonable," said Sami with a wrinkle of her pretty nose which EJ found just adorable.

"So the frog agreed and the scorpion climbed on board his back and the frog began to swim across the river," continued on EJ, "Half way across the scorpion stung the frog and as the frog was dying, dooming them both, he cried out to the scorpion – why? The scorpion just shrugged before he drowned and said that it was in his nature."

Sami looked back at EJ wide eyed at that little story.

"I love you Samantha DiMera because it is my nature to do so," said EJ simply, "It doesn't have to make sense or have a rhyme or reason – it was just something I was always meant to do."

"Oh EJ," said Sami unsteadily, reaching out and cupping his face with one hand as tears welled up in her eyes.

EJ covered her hand with his.

"And it's in your nature to love me as well," he concluded softly, letting her know that they were both the scorpions in this story.

"And I fought that for so long but it always kept coming back to you EJ," said Sami unevenly, her voice thick with emotion, "Before I would let myself understand – it was always you."

Sami moved in closer now so that her lips were brushing against his as she spoke.

"I love you," she said earnestly, breathing that heartfelt declaration into EJ's mouth, "Body and soul and forever, I love you EJ, my beautiful and patient scorpion."

"And I love you my gorgeous and impossible scorpion," said EJ hoarsely, feeling his heart swell with love for her, "The woman who saved me, the woman who made sense of me, the woman I love."

Sami's face lit up even as happy tears spilled down her cheeks and EJ couldn't help but shed a few himself as they tenderly kissed, sealing the beginning of their new life together once and for all.

Hate leaves ugly scars, love leaves beautiful ones.

_Mignon McLaughlin_

_(The Second Neurotic's Notebook__, 1966)_


End file.
